Yes, I do mean more than breathing and occasionally getting off the couch to go pee. My blog is upping stakes and moving to Word Press at http://babekingweb.com/blog/
Yay!!!! I've heard so many good things about Word Press. I hope they're all true.
Thanks to Jodici designs. :-)
Please follow the breadcrumbs and meet me over there.
Luv ya,
Babe
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Old, but good
Someone sent me these in an email, and since I don't want to bore you about my edits on Between the Gutter and the Sky, I thought I'd share the following giggles.
"OLD" IS WHEN Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one; I can't do both!"
"OLD " IS WHEN ... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
"OLD " IS WHEN . A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door..
"OLD" IS WHEN .... Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
"OLD " IS WHEN .. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
"OLD" IS WHEN .... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
"OLD" IS WHEN "Getting a little action" means you don't need to take any fiber today
"OLD " IS WHEN .... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.
"OLD" IS WHEN . An "all nighter" means not getting up to use the bathroom. AND
"OLD" IS WHEN .... You are not sure these are jokes
"OLD" IS WHEN ..... it takes longer to rest than it did to get tired in the first place...
"OLD" IS WHEN Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one; I can't do both!"
"OLD " IS WHEN ... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
"OLD " IS WHEN . A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door..
"OLD" IS WHEN .... Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
"OLD " IS WHEN .. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
"OLD" IS WHEN .... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
"OLD" IS WHEN "Getting a little action" means you don't need to take any fiber today
"OLD " IS WHEN .... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.
"OLD" IS WHEN . An "all nighter" means not getting up to use the bathroom. AND
"OLD" IS WHEN .... You are not sure these are jokes
"OLD" IS WHEN ..... it takes longer to rest than it did to get tired in the first place...
Sunday, September 09, 2007
The Gospel According to St Brat
I've been busy lately and not baking as much as I normally do, so it was no surprise when the boys descended on today's efforts like a flock of ganets. But after 2 egg pies and 2 apple turnovers each, I told them they'd had enough.
"Puh-lease, can I have another one?" they begged.
But I stood firm, until the oldest told me I was breaking biblical principles.
"How do you figure that?" I asked him.
"It clearly says,'Ask and you SHALL recieve."
What to say?????
"Puh-lease, can I have another one?" they begged.
But I stood firm, until the oldest told me I was breaking biblical principles.
"How do you figure that?" I asked him.
"It clearly says,'Ask and you SHALL recieve."
What to say?????
Friday, September 07, 2007
Americans, be afraid!!!!!!!!
Be very afraid. Australia is holding your president hostage in an undisclosed Australian jail where he is being tortured daily (by having to listen to our Prime Minister. It's rumored that Osama Bin Ladan visited to get his autograph, but nearly had snipers turn him into a colander.
Never fear, I have decided to release your president unharmed providing all Americans purchase at least one copy of all my books. Otherwise, I'm afraid I'll have to let the killer koalas eat him with their gum leaves.
Never fear, I have decided to release your president unharmed providing all Americans purchase at least one copy of all my books. Otherwise, I'm afraid I'll have to let the killer koalas eat him with their gum leaves.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
This 'n That
So much to do I'm trying not to spin in circles. So far today--
- cleaned up after the milk fight the boys had at breakfast. We're talking cubboards, counters, floor - ugh! Did I mention I love my new steam mop. Good side of this is I now have a clean kitchen. :-)
- fertilized lettuce. Grow you little suckers. It's spring don't you know!
- checked email. Found out my ed is up to p131 of Between the Gutter and the Sky and loving it. She said she'd been laughing so loud that her husband asked her what was up. :-) ANd this one isn't even a comedy, so that's good to know. I also found her blog when I googled The Marian Kind to see if any new reviews were up. She said some nice stuff.
Then trying to find out how to nominate my CP Gemma for the Avon Red awards- can I say I'm clueless? But she really deserves this.
Got a load of washing on. WHy do little boys put such disgusting things in their pockets? Now I have 2 baskets of ironing to catch up on. I let them grow while I was running the boys back and forth for their circus performances every day last week. ANd then of course I'll have to dust and mop the laundry since ironing always upsets my sinuses.
THEN, hopefully, as long as the sky doesn't fall, I'll get back to writing Theft of the Golden Hooha. Yesterday I took out the third fight scene. I hated doing it. Loved the scene, but frankly it was baggage that killed pace. WHaaaaaaaaaaaa. Killing my darlings. Moving on. This afternoon I hope to work out what Grant learns in the bar, and how I can patch the hole I made by taking out the third fight scene. Gives me something to think about while I'm ironing anyway.
- cleaned up after the milk fight the boys had at breakfast. We're talking cubboards, counters, floor - ugh! Did I mention I love my new steam mop. Good side of this is I now have a clean kitchen. :-)
- fertilized lettuce. Grow you little suckers. It's spring don't you know!
- checked email. Found out my ed is up to p131 of Between the Gutter and the Sky and loving it. She said she'd been laughing so loud that her husband asked her what was up. :-) ANd this one isn't even a comedy, so that's good to know. I also found her blog when I googled The Marian Kind to see if any new reviews were up. She said some nice stuff.
A second manuscript came my way this week. Babe King's Between the Gutter and the Sky. I'm looking forward to working with Babe. Having proofed her The Marian Kind, I know I love her style. The premise sounds very cool, so from the week after next, I'll be working on that too.
Then trying to find out how to nominate my CP Gemma for the Avon Red awards- can I say I'm clueless? But she really deserves this.
Got a load of washing on. WHy do little boys put such disgusting things in their pockets? Now I have 2 baskets of ironing to catch up on. I let them grow while I was running the boys back and forth for their circus performances every day last week. ANd then of course I'll have to dust and mop the laundry since ironing always upsets my sinuses.
THEN, hopefully, as long as the sky doesn't fall, I'll get back to writing Theft of the Golden Hooha. Yesterday I took out the third fight scene. I hated doing it. Loved the scene, but frankly it was baggage that killed pace. WHaaaaaaaaaaaa. Killing my darlings. Moving on. This afternoon I hope to work out what Grant learns in the bar, and how I can patch the hole I made by taking out the third fight scene. Gives me something to think about while I'm ironing anyway.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
I return you to the wisdom of the ages...
...lest I get too philosophical. Yup. This entry is deep as a carpark puddle and snatched from the jaws of ...well, laughter, over at SRN.
Wisdom of the Young
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
Wisdom of the Old
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts..
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.
6) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
7) Forget the health food. Elderly need all the preservatives they can get.
8) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down
there.
9) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
chair that you
once got from a roller coaster.
10) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to
ask you the questions.
Wisdom of the Young
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
Wisdom of the Old
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts..
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.
6) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
7) Forget the health food. Elderly need all the preservatives they can get.
8) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down
there.
9) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
chair that you
once got from a roller coaster.
10) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to
ask you the questions.
Saturday, September 01, 2007
Gender Benders
I'm sitting here watching k.d.lang (a woman who dresses as a man) being interviewed by Dame Edna Everage (a man who dresses up as an over-the-top woman) and I'm splitting my sides laughing. Oh my! It's offensive, in your face and totally brilliant!
How is this relevant? Recently I recieved a few contest crits back about my WIP and they mentioned that my characters can be irreverent, even a bit offensive, and that squeemish readers may be put off by some of their lines and thoughts. Yah! The accusation came as a shock, and yet not. I mean, basically I'll mock anything that holds still long enough for me to sling at. Guess I'm genetically rude, or maybe I figure if you can't laugh at yourself, you're taking life too seriously. Anyway, one said my heroine is a homophobe because of the OTT way she reacts to a couple of lesbians she's dealing with. I figured my heroine's shock was cute/funny, and played off her conservative Vermont upbringing, especially when they pass her coffee in a boob cup and she has to sip it while trying to ignore the bright pink nipple near the handle. Well, I thought it was funny. Guess I'm just a sick person. The whole reason I use gender benders in my work is to stir up the reactions of my main characters.
Anyway, my question is, where is the line where the shock of irreverence stops being funny and becomes offensive? I'd love to hear some different points of view. Let it rip, girls. :-)
How is this relevant? Recently I recieved a few contest crits back about my WIP and they mentioned that my characters can be irreverent, even a bit offensive, and that squeemish readers may be put off by some of their lines and thoughts. Yah! The accusation came as a shock, and yet not. I mean, basically I'll mock anything that holds still long enough for me to sling at. Guess I'm genetically rude, or maybe I figure if you can't laugh at yourself, you're taking life too seriously. Anyway, one said my heroine is a homophobe because of the OTT way she reacts to a couple of lesbians she's dealing with. I figured my heroine's shock was cute/funny, and played off her conservative Vermont upbringing, especially when they pass her coffee in a boob cup and she has to sip it while trying to ignore the bright pink nipple near the handle. Well, I thought it was funny. Guess I'm just a sick person. The whole reason I use gender benders in my work is to stir up the reactions of my main characters.
Anyway, my question is, where is the line where the shock of irreverence stops being funny and becomes offensive? I'd love to hear some different points of view. Let it rip, girls. :-)
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Having trouble with your synopsis?
Let Bunny theater help. If they can shrink a 3hr movie to thirty seconds, you can shrink 400p to 2. Sit back, grab a piece of popcorn (you won't have time for more than one) and watch Titanic like you've never seen it before.
http://www.angryalien.com/0604/titanicbunnies.html
http://www.angryalien.com/0604/titanicbunnies.html
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Tagged!
The cheeky, but lovable, Laura Bachi tagged me for a fun "four" meme. Here goes:
Four jobs I've had or currently have in my life:
1. Midwife
2. Fishwife
3. Housewife
4. Potter
Four countries I've been to:
1. Nepal
2. Bangkok
3. New Zealand
4. Vanatu
Four places I'd rather be right now:
1. in bed
2. in a hammock
3. in a sleep tank
4. lying on the couch... hmm, seeing a pattern here
Four foods I like to eat:
1. lobster
2. camenbert
3. melon
4. berries
Four personal heroes, past or present:
1. Kristen Painter & Jax - for starting RD
2. Gemma Halliday - for her awesome Heels stories
3. my old history teacher - for being everything a teacher should be
4. Helene - who saved my life in more ways than one
Four books you've read or are currently reading:
1. Working for the Devil - Lilith Saintcrow
2. Tide Knot - Helen Dunmore
3. Second Sight - Debbie Mumford
4. Will Write For Shoes
Four words or phrases you would like to see used more often:
1. Anything for you.
2. You are wonderful.
3. I loved your book.
4. We'd like to offer you a six-figure, multi-book contract ...
Four reasons for ending a friendship:
1. deceit
2. betrayal of trust
3. mean without a cause
4. only after what she can get from me
Four smells that make you feel good about the world:
1. baking bread
2. coffee!!!!!!!
3. rain
4. hyacinths
Four favorite activities you did as a kid:
1. playing with pretend friends
2. Drawing, esp with conte pastels
3. climbing trees
4. making up stories/songs
Four things My kids do that drive me nuts:
1. Pull up their socks until they tear the heels
2. bicker
3. leave stuff all over the place
4. refuse to admit they did something and spend hours blaming each other
Time to tag someone else... consider this aimed at you. :-)
Four jobs I've had or currently have in my life:
1. Midwife
2. Fishwife
3. Housewife
4. Potter
Four countries I've been to:
1. Nepal
2. Bangkok
3. New Zealand
4. Vanatu
Four places I'd rather be right now:
1. in bed
2. in a hammock
3. in a sleep tank
4. lying on the couch... hmm, seeing a pattern here
Four foods I like to eat:
1. lobster
2. camenbert
3. melon
4. berries
Four personal heroes, past or present:
1. Kristen Painter & Jax - for starting RD
2. Gemma Halliday - for her awesome Heels stories
3. my old history teacher - for being everything a teacher should be
4. Helene - who saved my life in more ways than one
Four books you've read or are currently reading:
1. Working for the Devil - Lilith Saintcrow
2. Tide Knot - Helen Dunmore
3. Second Sight - Debbie Mumford
4. Will Write For Shoes
Four words or phrases you would like to see used more often:
1. Anything for you.
2. You are wonderful.
3. I loved your book.
4. We'd like to offer you a six-figure, multi-book contract ...
Four reasons for ending a friendship:
1. deceit
2. betrayal of trust
3. mean without a cause
4. only after what she can get from me
Four smells that make you feel good about the world:
1. baking bread
2. coffee!!!!!!!
3. rain
4. hyacinths
Four favorite activities you did as a kid:
1. playing with pretend friends
2. Drawing, esp with conte pastels
3. climbing trees
4. making up stories/songs
Four things My kids do that drive me nuts:
1. Pull up their socks until they tear the heels
2. bicker
3. leave stuff all over the place
4. refuse to admit they did something and spend hours blaming each other
Time to tag someone else... consider this aimed at you. :-)
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Holy Guacamole!
Theft of the Golden Hooha finalled in the Get Your Stiletto in the Door chick lit cometition!!! Now it goes to Dorchester and Folio agency!!!
and um... better finish writing it, huh. :-0
Babe (collapsing into a chair)
and um... better finish writing it, huh. :-0
Babe (collapsing into a chair)
Marian Gets Another Great Review!!!
The Marian Kind is one hilarious read! From the very first page I was sure this was a book I could not put down. Marian as the woman who loves her man but has had just about enough of his secrets was very funny, especially once he spilled the beans. Rob as the rich guy who wants to do right by the poor and thinks he has figured out a way is endearing. Never mind the constant “funeral humor” that had me wheezing for breath I was laughing so hard. Needless to say, I was highly entertained with these character’s antics. If you enjoy a lot of humor in your romance then you won’t want to miss this one!
from Regina - Reviewer for Coffee Time Romance
Read rest of Review
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Thursday Thirteen
I don't think it comes as any surprise to those who know me that I love Jenny Crusie. Recently, I went to the Australian Romance Writer's conference (really not a happy time for me), but I went for Jennifer Crusie's lectures and the woman was all I'd hoped for. So this week for TT, I'm dragging from my copious notes 13 things about JC to amuse and inspire (together with my own comments from the peanut gallery). I hope you enjoy them as much as I did, though you really do need to see her in action for a full effect. If you get a chance to hear her speak, grab it!
1. "Your subconscious is so much smarter than you are."
So um, I'm smarter when unconscious. Somebody punch me.
2. "It's when you go to hell that you find the stuff that makes your book great."
Coz the devil has all the good plot lines and whispers them in your ear.
3. "You are a story teller.... You are the hero of your community."
And we know how everyone likes to torture the hero.
4. "There is no generic boinking."
But if you take off the maid costume you can have no frills boinking. Not the same of course.
5. "Violence always has an aftermath -- a physical and emotional reaction."
Not to mention blood.
6. "You are so much smarter than you think you are."
I must be so freaking brilliant...
7. "Tell Me Lies" was the book of her heart. If she could write another book like that, she would.
And so would I. :-)
8. She is currently agent shopping, though her last agent, Nancy Yost, remains a close friend.
and that's just inspiring!
9. She is currently writing another collaboration, "Always Kiss Me Goodnight," which is her first ghost story.
leaving the old dog comment alone. She might clunk me with a bone.
10. "Stay in the moment."
I am. I think the moment was about 6 years ago, but I'm still there.
11. "If you use a prologue, you will go to hell."
Is that what did it????
12. In "Agnes and the Hitman" she uses the kitchen as a motif, a symbol of warm, loving family.
whereas my kitchen is a symbol of slovenly housekeeping
13. "This isn't a business, it's a casino."
so when the chips are down, you might just win!!! :-) Lay your bets, ladies.
Halo pinned back on ... temporarily
I just found a review of Something Blue done by Shauna Sturge (The Long and the Short of it reviews.) Kinda nice.
See, I can be good sometimes. Pfffft! :-)
oh, and btw, speaking of good, on Fri. Aug 24th (ie Tomorrow) the lovely Sweeter Romantic Notions Authors will be chatting at Romance Bistro. I'll try to pop in, but that may be difficult as I have a s-i-l visiting from Belgium. Haven't seen her in years!!!! (Hope she brings chocolate) :-)
Something Blue – Lyndell King
Wow! This short story is full of love and longing so strong and deep you actually feel it. Lyndell King has crafted a story full of phrases and words that bring the small fishing town and its characters to life. They will walk off the pages and into your heart.
Petra finds herself faced with a decision that could potentially save the economy of her beloved town. As she struggles with the demands of her new fiancé, her long-time friend and pastor, Nathan, despairs of losing her to another for the sake of the town and its people. This is a wonderful story about sacrifice and learning to listen to one’s heart. It’s about risk, forgiveness and that God’s blessings are most often found by letting go of our plans.
This story will grab you and take you along for the ride. The beautiful imagery and powerful sentence structure will have you feeling the sand and the wind, and seeing the beautiful sunset. These characters are real, flawed and wonderful. The dialogue is quick, witty and intense and will have you falling in love with the characters and the town.
See, I can be good sometimes. Pfffft! :-)
oh, and btw, speaking of good, on Fri. Aug 24th (ie Tomorrow) the lovely Sweeter Romantic Notions Authors will be chatting at Romance Bistro. I'll try to pop in, but that may be difficult as I have a s-i-l visiting from Belgium. Haven't seen her in years!!!! (Hope she brings chocolate) :-)
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Oops - halo slippage
Just got the edits of Scratch That! and seems my potty mouth is bringing me unstuck. May have to change "opened a can of whoop ass" to opened a can of worms." Not quite the same thing. :-)
I'm so evil.
Monday, August 20, 2007
The Beauties of Homeschooling
I'm back to homeschooling my kids. This was a hard decision for me as I hate giving up writing time, but with my kids falling off the planet at the local school, accademically, socially and emotionally, it became imperative. I'll just have to get more efficient.
But the good thing is, I've been able to introduce them to the wonderful world of blogging. For the 8 year old, this means a blog of his own, uploading photos and basically using it as a diary. For the 14 year old this means getting his own email and myspace. He's started making short clips with Windows Movie Maker which he'll upload when he gets a feel for his space. He'll also put up some clips of him playing violin, and blog weekly to keep up to date and form a record of his year. I'm hoping it will put them more in touch with their feelings and lives, teach them a bit of IT, and give them a way to stay connected with any friends they make.
To be honest, it's great to see them excited about something again. Formal school all but dulled that out of them.
But the good thing is, I've been able to introduce them to the wonderful world of blogging. For the 8 year old, this means a blog of his own, uploading photos and basically using it as a diary. For the 14 year old this means getting his own email and myspace. He's started making short clips with Windows Movie Maker which he'll upload when he gets a feel for his space. He'll also put up some clips of him playing violin, and blog weekly to keep up to date and form a record of his year. I'm hoping it will put them more in touch with their feelings and lives, teach them a bit of IT, and give them a way to stay connected with any friends they make.
To be honest, it's great to see them excited about something again. Formal school all but dulled that out of them.
Dayna Magic
“Go Between” by Dayna Hart
Coming August 14th from Samhain Publications
Between two races that hate each other, at the doorway between two worlds, can Claire find the strength to be the emissary they all need?
Book One of The Curtain Torn series.
Halfway through her twenties, her divorce, and a bottle of rye, Claire opens her birthday present—a “pressed fairy” book.
One of the fairies is neither pressed, nor a picture. He’s the sinfully sexy Dell, who’s been trapped inside the book for twenty years. The moment Claire frees him, goblins attack her house. Dell and Claire’s only option is to use a “Between”—a rift between their worlds—to escape into the land of Fae.
There, Claire discovers the elven queen, Eliane, has a mission for her—one that has her keeping secrets from Dell. And ousting the goblins from her home is only the start.
Read An Excerpt Online
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Beat the Glum Bunnies
Y'know, I'm against the bludgoning of innocent baby Harp seals for the fur industry. Yup. Makes me ill to think of it. But some critters deserve to be smashed to a pulp, and the glum bunny is definitely one of them.
Recently, over at Romance Divas, someone posted a thread about being down, and so many girls put their hand up saying they were also in glum bunny hell it was frightening. I know these things breed like ... well, rabbits, but sheesh! What a miserable way to spend our alloted three score and ten. So, I've been considering how we can send that disgusting rodents into a myxomatosis oblivion. Feel free to add your 2c worth and help outfox these "wascally wabbits."
1. Avoid negative people. If someone puts you down more than once without a reason- ie, it's not to help you grow, then stay away from them. Who needs the negativity?
2. Chemical warfare - including antidepresssants, alcohol, bascially anything that makes you feel better by altering your perception. Drugs are good.
3. Exercise. Endorphins are like morphine. See above. Drugs are good.
4, A dose of paralyzing agent either for yourself or for said negative person also works. If they/you can't breath, they can't insult/ you don't care. Again I say, drugs are good.
5. Eat well. Chocolate and other comfort food are a short term fix with long term implications. Basically, they make your warren larger so more glum bunnies can live there. Not good.
6. Succeed and celebrate that success, even if it's a small step. I finally wrote Between the Gutter and the Sky's blurb. Yay- party time! Who has the balloons and ah... did I mention drugs are good?
7. Read inspiring work. Either a book of amazing bloodlines that leaves you gasping from its sheer brilliance, or one so bad you realize you're not the worst writer on the planet. Of course, this can also backfire. Ie. if this crud gets published and I don't, what does that make me? (I think that's called glum bunny pellets.)
8. Treat your inner child well. If you don't give them something fun to play with, they'll wipe jammy fingers on your WIP and dump dirty diapers on your mood and muse.
9. Never allow your glum bunnies and dust bunnies to interbreed. Few things are worse than a filthy mood in a filthy house.
10. For those who are perimenopausal, consider HRT --hormonal rabbit traps. It is natural to collect/attract glum bunnies at this time of life and may be necessary to poison their water supply. Let me advise adding copiuos alcohol. Again I say, drugs are good.
11. Be thankful I didn't mention the Jack Russel of joy or the Ferret of frivolity. I'm saving them for a purple spot. Hmm, maybe I should have that spot chopped off next time I'm at the doctor. I've heard they can turn malignant.
Finally, let me say, you don't have to be the bunny. There are better ways to wear fur. Anyone know a good taxidermist?
Recently, over at Romance Divas, someone posted a thread about being down, and so many girls put their hand up saying they were also in glum bunny hell it was frightening. I know these things breed like ... well, rabbits, but sheesh! What a miserable way to spend our alloted three score and ten. So, I've been considering how we can send that disgusting rodents into a myxomatosis oblivion. Feel free to add your 2c worth and help outfox these "wascally wabbits."
1. Avoid negative people. If someone puts you down more than once without a reason- ie, it's not to help you grow, then stay away from them. Who needs the negativity?
2. Chemical warfare - including antidepresssants, alcohol, bascially anything that makes you feel better by altering your perception. Drugs are good.
3. Exercise. Endorphins are like morphine. See above. Drugs are good.
4, A dose of paralyzing agent either for yourself or for said negative person also works. If they/you can't breath, they can't insult/ you don't care. Again I say, drugs are good.
5. Eat well. Chocolate and other comfort food are a short term fix with long term implications. Basically, they make your warren larger so more glum bunnies can live there. Not good.
6. Succeed and celebrate that success, even if it's a small step. I finally wrote Between the Gutter and the Sky's blurb. Yay- party time! Who has the balloons and ah... did I mention drugs are good?
7. Read inspiring work. Either a book of amazing bloodlines that leaves you gasping from its sheer brilliance, or one so bad you realize you're not the worst writer on the planet. Of course, this can also backfire. Ie. if this crud gets published and I don't, what does that make me? (I think that's called glum bunny pellets.)
8. Treat your inner child well. If you don't give them something fun to play with, they'll wipe jammy fingers on your WIP and dump dirty diapers on your mood and muse.
9. Never allow your glum bunnies and dust bunnies to interbreed. Few things are worse than a filthy mood in a filthy house.
10. For those who are perimenopausal, consider HRT --hormonal rabbit traps. It is natural to collect/attract glum bunnies at this time of life and may be necessary to poison their water supply. Let me advise adding copiuos alcohol. Again I say, drugs are good.
11. Be thankful I didn't mention the Jack Russel of joy or the Ferret of frivolity. I'm saving them for a purple spot. Hmm, maybe I should have that spot chopped off next time I'm at the doctor. I've heard they can turn malignant.
Finally, let me say, you don't have to be the bunny. There are better ways to wear fur. Anyone know a good taxidermist?
Monday, August 13, 2007
Gee, Some People Are Tough!
The arrogance of some people in this biz scares the beejeezers out of me and I don't know how to respond - whether to be shocked, or just plain pissed (honestly, if I ever act in that way do me a favor and prick my bubble. Please!) I'm just a little writer telling stories to entertain people, and didn't realize I was supposed to grovel to anyone willing to read my words. Not gonna happen -- sorry folks. I mean, at the end of the day we are all people and even the queen doesn't seem so regal caught on the can with her drawers down, right?
Take the recent debacle with the A and R Whitcoulls Group, a.k.a. the Angus and Robertson bookstore chain. That's kinda relevant to me since I recently went into our local branch to see if they had the Cup of Comfort books in stock and was told, yes, they could get them in, but they didn't stock them on the shelves. Hmm -- how many do you think we're gonna sell there, even if the press does a release? My guess would be none if readers can't see the books to fall in love with them, esp if they have to wait 6-9 weeks for an order to come in. Today's reader waits for no man. Or woman. I also noticed Eden Bradley and Gemma Halliday's books were not on their shelves, either. When I asked, I was told they too could be ordered in the same waiting deal as the Cup of Comfort stuff. Sigh. As Australia’s largest bookseller, with 180 bookstores and about 20% of the retail market, what's the story with A and R's limited range? It seems to be shrinking daily, or is that just my impression?
Anyhu, then I came across the article over at Making Light http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/009263.html
and my brows about hit the roof.
A and R's commercial manager, Charlie Rimmer, recently sent a startling letter to Australian small publishers and distributors, demanding a substantial payment from each by August 17 (reportedly ranging from AU$2,500 to AU$20,000) if they want A and R to keep selling their books!!! They concluded that they have far too many suppliers and "over 40% of our supplier agreements fall below our requirements in terms of profit earned... Accordingly, we will be rationalizing our supplier numbers and setting a minimum earnings ratio of income to trade purchases that we expect to achieve from our suppliers."
Now I would have thought that having multiple suppliers—that is, a broad range of publishers and books to choose from— was a good thing. More choices, greater reader selection, more sales and so on. Everyone would benefit. But what would I know?
A and R's solution? They've "invited" said small suppliers to pay an attached invoice by Aug 17th 2007 to cover the gap for their business, and move them from an unacceptable level of profitability, to "above minimum threshold." If they fail to receive payment, they "will have no option but to remove ... from their list of authorised suppliers", and said businesses will "be unable to complete any further transactions with (A and R) until such time as the payment is made."
Yikes! It's a blackmail note! Even the remaining braincell not beat out of me at conference can see that! (Hmm, can I use this in an upcoming suspense novel? I'm really struggling to find something funny about it though.)
According to Michael Rakusin-Director of Tower Books Pty Ltd
"that’s a death threat. (no kiding!) They can’t afford to pay the mordida now, they can’t afford to give A and R a bigger discount, and they can’t afford to lose that large a percentage of their retail sales."
Interpretation- either way, they're screwed!
And if not for small press, where will those odd, offbeat different voices we've all come to know and love find a home? Used to be we jostled to be published, then to be seen as published because of the pecking order in WHERE we were published. But being published is no longer enough. Now we have to pay randsom to even get shelf space for published books. Scary stuff, no?
Take the recent debacle with the A and R Whitcoulls Group, a.k.a. the Angus and Robertson bookstore chain. That's kinda relevant to me since I recently went into our local branch to see if they had the Cup of Comfort books in stock and was told, yes, they could get them in, but they didn't stock them on the shelves. Hmm -- how many do you think we're gonna sell there, even if the press does a release? My guess would be none if readers can't see the books to fall in love with them, esp if they have to wait 6-9 weeks for an order to come in. Today's reader waits for no man. Or woman. I also noticed Eden Bradley and Gemma Halliday's books were not on their shelves, either. When I asked, I was told they too could be ordered in the same waiting deal as the Cup of Comfort stuff. Sigh. As Australia’s largest bookseller, with 180 bookstores and about 20% of the retail market, what's the story with A and R's limited range? It seems to be shrinking daily, or is that just my impression?
Anyhu, then I came across the article over at Making Light http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/009263.html
and my brows about hit the roof.
A and R's commercial manager, Charlie Rimmer, recently sent a startling letter to Australian small publishers and distributors, demanding a substantial payment from each by August 17 (reportedly ranging from AU$2,500 to AU$20,000) if they want A and R to keep selling their books!!! They concluded that they have far too many suppliers and "over 40% of our supplier agreements fall below our requirements in terms of profit earned... Accordingly, we will be rationalizing our supplier numbers and setting a minimum earnings ratio of income to trade purchases that we expect to achieve from our suppliers."
Now I would have thought that having multiple suppliers—that is, a broad range of publishers and books to choose from— was a good thing. More choices, greater reader selection, more sales and so on. Everyone would benefit. But what would I know?
A and R's solution? They've "invited" said small suppliers to pay an attached invoice by Aug 17th 2007 to cover the gap for their business, and move them from an unacceptable level of profitability, to "above minimum threshold." If they fail to receive payment, they "will have no option but to remove ... from their list of authorised suppliers", and said businesses will "be unable to complete any further transactions with (A and R) until such time as the payment is made."
Yikes! It's a blackmail note! Even the remaining braincell not beat out of me at conference can see that! (Hmm, can I use this in an upcoming suspense novel? I'm really struggling to find something funny about it though.)
According to Michael Rakusin-Director of Tower Books Pty Ltd
"that’s a death threat. (no kiding!) They can’t afford to pay the mordida now, they can’t afford to give A and R a bigger discount, and they can’t afford to lose that large a percentage of their retail sales."
Interpretation- either way, they're screwed!
And if not for small press, where will those odd, offbeat different voices we've all come to know and love find a home? Used to be we jostled to be published, then to be seen as published because of the pecking order in WHERE we were published. But being published is no longer enough. Now we have to pay randsom to even get shelf space for published books. Scary stuff, no?
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Going AWOL
I'm off to Sydney to the Australian Romance Writer's Conference. Be good while I'm gone. :-) Hopefully I'll return with heaps of gossip. Plus, I get to learn from Jennifer Crusie. What could be better than that. :-) sigh
Monday, August 06, 2007
Thanks to you all!
I'd like to thank everyone who entered The Marian Kind contest. You rock! P. Tupper, check your email, honey. :-)
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