Monday, June 05, 2006

Neologisms

Babe's Always Write
Gangrel : Isn’t that a fantastic word? What is it, a cross between gangrene and mongrel? Some green moldering carcass of a stray mutt? Did you know Shakespeare invented half the words he used? Why is it that when I follow suit my spell checker has a hernia and my CPs freak? Actually my American CPs try to correct my ockerisms all the time. But really, when was the last time you came up with a neologism? In my last manuscript I made up the word snarpy to describe the sharp, snappy barks of a Chihuahua. I challenge you, let’s add a new wing onto Websters, new threads into Word Web. Let your imagination go wild. I can’t wait to see what new words you come up with.
In the meantime, a friend sent me these little gems, pilfered no doubt from somewhere I don't know, so whoever you are, I acknowledge your wit and wisdom.

1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

5. CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

6. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop over the walls to see what's going on.

7. MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

9. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

11. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

12. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The J-Lo and Ben wedding (or not) was a prime example - Michael Jackson, another...

13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

14. ADMINISPHERE : The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

15. 404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested site could not be located.

16. GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that is exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.

17. OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake).

18. WOOFS: Well-Off Older Folks.

7 comments:

Heather said...

snortle; adjective

To snort and chortle at the same time

Kristen Painter said...

SINKS - Single Income, No Kids

or

SIPOS - Single Income, Pets Only

DH and I qualify as either. Love the words! Haven't had enough coffee to think of a new word of my own.

Jen said...

OHG! I'm a SITCOM!!
How about my favorite
Cidiot--An Urban dweller who moves to a rural area and complains that there's no Starbucks.

I'm stealing this Babe. These are AWESOME. You forgot to add Man Tormentors. LOL.

RELATIONSHIP
Really Exciting Love Affair Turns Into Ongoing Nightmare Serenity Hangs In Peril.

Sela Carsen said...

Good Lord. I live in Generica.

EEEEWWWWWWW!!!!!!

Carrie said...

How 'bout "compliterate"? Like computer literate. So I guess I would be non-compliterate.

Babe King said...

Hah! Jen, "man tormentors" only works when Frank says it, big tough he-man brought down by a pair of boobs- tee-hee (that's in my MS "Well Heeled" for those of you who don't know my work. :-)
and I am definitely compiliterate, more's the pity

Tawny Taylor said...

These are brilliant! Wish I was smart enough to come up with something so clever but I can't.