Yes, I do mean more than breathing and occasionally getting off the couch to go pee. My blog is upping stakes and moving to Word Press at http://babekingweb.com/blog/
Yay!!!! I've heard so many good things about Word Press. I hope they're all true.
Thanks to Jodici designs. :-)
Please follow the breadcrumbs and meet me over there.
Luv ya,
Babe
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Old, but good
Someone sent me these in an email, and since I don't want to bore you about my edits on Between the Gutter and the Sky, I thought I'd share the following giggles.
"OLD" IS WHEN Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one; I can't do both!"
"OLD " IS WHEN ... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
"OLD " IS WHEN . A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door..
"OLD" IS WHEN .... Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
"OLD " IS WHEN .. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
"OLD" IS WHEN .... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
"OLD" IS WHEN "Getting a little action" means you don't need to take any fiber today
"OLD " IS WHEN .... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.
"OLD" IS WHEN . An "all nighter" means not getting up to use the bathroom. AND
"OLD" IS WHEN .... You are not sure these are jokes
"OLD" IS WHEN ..... it takes longer to rest than it did to get tired in the first place...
"OLD" IS WHEN Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one; I can't do both!"
"OLD " IS WHEN ... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
"OLD " IS WHEN . A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door..
"OLD" IS WHEN .... Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
"OLD " IS WHEN .. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
"OLD" IS WHEN .... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
"OLD" IS WHEN "Getting a little action" means you don't need to take any fiber today
"OLD " IS WHEN .... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.
"OLD" IS WHEN . An "all nighter" means not getting up to use the bathroom. AND
"OLD" IS WHEN .... You are not sure these are jokes
"OLD" IS WHEN ..... it takes longer to rest than it did to get tired in the first place...
Sunday, September 09, 2007
The Gospel According to St Brat
I've been busy lately and not baking as much as I normally do, so it was no surprise when the boys descended on today's efforts like a flock of ganets. But after 2 egg pies and 2 apple turnovers each, I told them they'd had enough.
"Puh-lease, can I have another one?" they begged.
But I stood firm, until the oldest told me I was breaking biblical principles.
"How do you figure that?" I asked him.
"It clearly says,'Ask and you SHALL recieve."
What to say?????
"Puh-lease, can I have another one?" they begged.
But I stood firm, until the oldest told me I was breaking biblical principles.
"How do you figure that?" I asked him.
"It clearly says,'Ask and you SHALL recieve."
What to say?????
Friday, September 07, 2007
Americans, be afraid!!!!!!!!
Be very afraid. Australia is holding your president hostage in an undisclosed Australian jail where he is being tortured daily (by having to listen to our Prime Minister. It's rumored that Osama Bin Ladan visited to get his autograph, but nearly had snipers turn him into a colander.
Never fear, I have decided to release your president unharmed providing all Americans purchase at least one copy of all my books. Otherwise, I'm afraid I'll have to let the killer koalas eat him with their gum leaves.
Never fear, I have decided to release your president unharmed providing all Americans purchase at least one copy of all my books. Otherwise, I'm afraid I'll have to let the killer koalas eat him with their gum leaves.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
This 'n That
So much to do I'm trying not to spin in circles. So far today--
- cleaned up after the milk fight the boys had at breakfast. We're talking cubboards, counters, floor - ugh! Did I mention I love my new steam mop. Good side of this is I now have a clean kitchen. :-)
- fertilized lettuce. Grow you little suckers. It's spring don't you know!
- checked email. Found out my ed is up to p131 of Between the Gutter and the Sky and loving it. She said she'd been laughing so loud that her husband asked her what was up. :-) ANd this one isn't even a comedy, so that's good to know. I also found her blog when I googled The Marian Kind to see if any new reviews were up. She said some nice stuff.
Then trying to find out how to nominate my CP Gemma for the Avon Red awards- can I say I'm clueless? But she really deserves this.
Got a load of washing on. WHy do little boys put such disgusting things in their pockets? Now I have 2 baskets of ironing to catch up on. I let them grow while I was running the boys back and forth for their circus performances every day last week. ANd then of course I'll have to dust and mop the laundry since ironing always upsets my sinuses.
THEN, hopefully, as long as the sky doesn't fall, I'll get back to writing Theft of the Golden Hooha. Yesterday I took out the third fight scene. I hated doing it. Loved the scene, but frankly it was baggage that killed pace. WHaaaaaaaaaaaa. Killing my darlings. Moving on. This afternoon I hope to work out what Grant learns in the bar, and how I can patch the hole I made by taking out the third fight scene. Gives me something to think about while I'm ironing anyway.
- cleaned up after the milk fight the boys had at breakfast. We're talking cubboards, counters, floor - ugh! Did I mention I love my new steam mop. Good side of this is I now have a clean kitchen. :-)
- fertilized lettuce. Grow you little suckers. It's spring don't you know!
- checked email. Found out my ed is up to p131 of Between the Gutter and the Sky and loving it. She said she'd been laughing so loud that her husband asked her what was up. :-) ANd this one isn't even a comedy, so that's good to know. I also found her blog when I googled The Marian Kind to see if any new reviews were up. She said some nice stuff.
A second manuscript came my way this week. Babe King's Between the Gutter and the Sky. I'm looking forward to working with Babe. Having proofed her The Marian Kind, I know I love her style. The premise sounds very cool, so from the week after next, I'll be working on that too.
Then trying to find out how to nominate my CP Gemma for the Avon Red awards- can I say I'm clueless? But she really deserves this.
Got a load of washing on. WHy do little boys put such disgusting things in their pockets? Now I have 2 baskets of ironing to catch up on. I let them grow while I was running the boys back and forth for their circus performances every day last week. ANd then of course I'll have to dust and mop the laundry since ironing always upsets my sinuses.
THEN, hopefully, as long as the sky doesn't fall, I'll get back to writing Theft of the Golden Hooha. Yesterday I took out the third fight scene. I hated doing it. Loved the scene, but frankly it was baggage that killed pace. WHaaaaaaaaaaaa. Killing my darlings. Moving on. This afternoon I hope to work out what Grant learns in the bar, and how I can patch the hole I made by taking out the third fight scene. Gives me something to think about while I'm ironing anyway.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
I return you to the wisdom of the ages...
...lest I get too philosophical. Yup. This entry is deep as a carpark puddle and snatched from the jaws of ...well, laughter, over at SRN.
Wisdom of the Young
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
Wisdom of the Old
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts..
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.
6) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
7) Forget the health food. Elderly need all the preservatives they can get.
8) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down
there.
9) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
chair that you
once got from a roller coaster.
10) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to
ask you the questions.
Wisdom of the Young
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
Wisdom of the Old
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts..
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.
6) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
7) Forget the health food. Elderly need all the preservatives they can get.
8) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down
there.
9) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
chair that you
once got from a roller coaster.
10) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to
ask you the questions.
Saturday, September 01, 2007
Gender Benders
I'm sitting here watching k.d.lang (a woman who dresses as a man) being interviewed by Dame Edna Everage (a man who dresses up as an over-the-top woman) and I'm splitting my sides laughing. Oh my! It's offensive, in your face and totally brilliant!
How is this relevant? Recently I recieved a few contest crits back about my WIP and they mentioned that my characters can be irreverent, even a bit offensive, and that squeemish readers may be put off by some of their lines and thoughts. Yah! The accusation came as a shock, and yet not. I mean, basically I'll mock anything that holds still long enough for me to sling at. Guess I'm genetically rude, or maybe I figure if you can't laugh at yourself, you're taking life too seriously. Anyway, one said my heroine is a homophobe because of the OTT way she reacts to a couple of lesbians she's dealing with. I figured my heroine's shock was cute/funny, and played off her conservative Vermont upbringing, especially when they pass her coffee in a boob cup and she has to sip it while trying to ignore the bright pink nipple near the handle. Well, I thought it was funny. Guess I'm just a sick person. The whole reason I use gender benders in my work is to stir up the reactions of my main characters.
Anyway, my question is, where is the line where the shock of irreverence stops being funny and becomes offensive? I'd love to hear some different points of view. Let it rip, girls. :-)
How is this relevant? Recently I recieved a few contest crits back about my WIP and they mentioned that my characters can be irreverent, even a bit offensive, and that squeemish readers may be put off by some of their lines and thoughts. Yah! The accusation came as a shock, and yet not. I mean, basically I'll mock anything that holds still long enough for me to sling at. Guess I'm genetically rude, or maybe I figure if you can't laugh at yourself, you're taking life too seriously. Anyway, one said my heroine is a homophobe because of the OTT way she reacts to a couple of lesbians she's dealing with. I figured my heroine's shock was cute/funny, and played off her conservative Vermont upbringing, especially when they pass her coffee in a boob cup and she has to sip it while trying to ignore the bright pink nipple near the handle. Well, I thought it was funny. Guess I'm just a sick person. The whole reason I use gender benders in my work is to stir up the reactions of my main characters.
Anyway, my question is, where is the line where the shock of irreverence stops being funny and becomes offensive? I'd love to hear some different points of view. Let it rip, girls. :-)
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Having trouble with your synopsis?
Let Bunny theater help. If they can shrink a 3hr movie to thirty seconds, you can shrink 400p to 2. Sit back, grab a piece of popcorn (you won't have time for more than one) and watch Titanic like you've never seen it before.
http://www.angryalien.com/0604/titanicbunnies.html
http://www.angryalien.com/0604/titanicbunnies.html
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Tagged!
The cheeky, but lovable, Laura Bachi tagged me for a fun "four" meme. Here goes:
Four jobs I've had or currently have in my life:
1. Midwife
2. Fishwife
3. Housewife
4. Potter
Four countries I've been to:
1. Nepal
2. Bangkok
3. New Zealand
4. Vanatu
Four places I'd rather be right now:
1. in bed
2. in a hammock
3. in a sleep tank
4. lying on the couch... hmm, seeing a pattern here
Four foods I like to eat:
1. lobster
2. camenbert
3. melon
4. berries
Four personal heroes, past or present:
1. Kristen Painter & Jax - for starting RD
2. Gemma Halliday - for her awesome Heels stories
3. my old history teacher - for being everything a teacher should be
4. Helene - who saved my life in more ways than one
Four books you've read or are currently reading:
1. Working for the Devil - Lilith Saintcrow
2. Tide Knot - Helen Dunmore
3. Second Sight - Debbie Mumford
4. Will Write For Shoes
Four words or phrases you would like to see used more often:
1. Anything for you.
2. You are wonderful.
3. I loved your book.
4. We'd like to offer you a six-figure, multi-book contract ...
Four reasons for ending a friendship:
1. deceit
2. betrayal of trust
3. mean without a cause
4. only after what she can get from me
Four smells that make you feel good about the world:
1. baking bread
2. coffee!!!!!!!
3. rain
4. hyacinths
Four favorite activities you did as a kid:
1. playing with pretend friends
2. Drawing, esp with conte pastels
3. climbing trees
4. making up stories/songs
Four things My kids do that drive me nuts:
1. Pull up their socks until they tear the heels
2. bicker
3. leave stuff all over the place
4. refuse to admit they did something and spend hours blaming each other
Time to tag someone else... consider this aimed at you. :-)
Four jobs I've had or currently have in my life:
1. Midwife
2. Fishwife
3. Housewife
4. Potter
Four countries I've been to:
1. Nepal
2. Bangkok
3. New Zealand
4. Vanatu
Four places I'd rather be right now:
1. in bed
2. in a hammock
3. in a sleep tank
4. lying on the couch... hmm, seeing a pattern here
Four foods I like to eat:
1. lobster
2. camenbert
3. melon
4. berries
Four personal heroes, past or present:
1. Kristen Painter & Jax - for starting RD
2. Gemma Halliday - for her awesome Heels stories
3. my old history teacher - for being everything a teacher should be
4. Helene - who saved my life in more ways than one
Four books you've read or are currently reading:
1. Working for the Devil - Lilith Saintcrow
2. Tide Knot - Helen Dunmore
3. Second Sight - Debbie Mumford
4. Will Write For Shoes
Four words or phrases you would like to see used more often:
1. Anything for you.
2. You are wonderful.
3. I loved your book.
4. We'd like to offer you a six-figure, multi-book contract ...
Four reasons for ending a friendship:
1. deceit
2. betrayal of trust
3. mean without a cause
4. only after what she can get from me
Four smells that make you feel good about the world:
1. baking bread
2. coffee!!!!!!!
3. rain
4. hyacinths
Four favorite activities you did as a kid:
1. playing with pretend friends
2. Drawing, esp with conte pastels
3. climbing trees
4. making up stories/songs
Four things My kids do that drive me nuts:
1. Pull up their socks until they tear the heels
2. bicker
3. leave stuff all over the place
4. refuse to admit they did something and spend hours blaming each other
Time to tag someone else... consider this aimed at you. :-)
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Holy Guacamole!
Theft of the Golden Hooha finalled in the Get Your Stiletto in the Door chick lit cometition!!! Now it goes to Dorchester and Folio agency!!!
and um... better finish writing it, huh. :-0
Babe (collapsing into a chair)
and um... better finish writing it, huh. :-0
Babe (collapsing into a chair)
Marian Gets Another Great Review!!!
The Marian Kind is one hilarious read! From the very first page I was sure this was a book I could not put down. Marian as the woman who loves her man but has had just about enough of his secrets was very funny, especially once he spilled the beans. Rob as the rich guy who wants to do right by the poor and thinks he has figured out a way is endearing. Never mind the constant “funeral humor” that had me wheezing for breath I was laughing so hard. Needless to say, I was highly entertained with these character’s antics. If you enjoy a lot of humor in your romance then you won’t want to miss this one!
from Regina - Reviewer for Coffee Time Romance
Read rest of Review
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Thursday Thirteen
I don't think it comes as any surprise to those who know me that I love Jenny Crusie. Recently, I went to the Australian Romance Writer's conference (really not a happy time for me), but I went for Jennifer Crusie's lectures and the woman was all I'd hoped for. So this week for TT, I'm dragging from my copious notes 13 things about JC to amuse and inspire (together with my own comments from the peanut gallery). I hope you enjoy them as much as I did, though you really do need to see her in action for a full effect. If you get a chance to hear her speak, grab it!
1. "Your subconscious is so much smarter than you are."
So um, I'm smarter when unconscious. Somebody punch me.
2. "It's when you go to hell that you find the stuff that makes your book great."
Coz the devil has all the good plot lines and whispers them in your ear.
3. "You are a story teller.... You are the hero of your community."
And we know how everyone likes to torture the hero.
4. "There is no generic boinking."
But if you take off the maid costume you can have no frills boinking. Not the same of course.
5. "Violence always has an aftermath -- a physical and emotional reaction."
Not to mention blood.
6. "You are so much smarter than you think you are."
I must be so freaking brilliant...
7. "Tell Me Lies" was the book of her heart. If she could write another book like that, she would.
And so would I. :-)
8. She is currently agent shopping, though her last agent, Nancy Yost, remains a close friend.
and that's just inspiring!
9. She is currently writing another collaboration, "Always Kiss Me Goodnight," which is her first ghost story.
leaving the old dog comment alone. She might clunk me with a bone.
10. "Stay in the moment."
I am. I think the moment was about 6 years ago, but I'm still there.
11. "If you use a prologue, you will go to hell."
Is that what did it????
12. In "Agnes and the Hitman" she uses the kitchen as a motif, a symbol of warm, loving family.
whereas my kitchen is a symbol of slovenly housekeeping
13. "This isn't a business, it's a casino."
so when the chips are down, you might just win!!! :-) Lay your bets, ladies.
Halo pinned back on ... temporarily
I just found a review of Something Blue done by Shauna Sturge (The Long and the Short of it reviews.) Kinda nice.
See, I can be good sometimes. Pfffft! :-)
oh, and btw, speaking of good, on Fri. Aug 24th (ie Tomorrow) the lovely Sweeter Romantic Notions Authors will be chatting at Romance Bistro. I'll try to pop in, but that may be difficult as I have a s-i-l visiting from Belgium. Haven't seen her in years!!!! (Hope she brings chocolate) :-)
Something Blue – Lyndell King
Wow! This short story is full of love and longing so strong and deep you actually feel it. Lyndell King has crafted a story full of phrases and words that bring the small fishing town and its characters to life. They will walk off the pages and into your heart.
Petra finds herself faced with a decision that could potentially save the economy of her beloved town. As she struggles with the demands of her new fiancé, her long-time friend and pastor, Nathan, despairs of losing her to another for the sake of the town and its people. This is a wonderful story about sacrifice and learning to listen to one’s heart. It’s about risk, forgiveness and that God’s blessings are most often found by letting go of our plans.
This story will grab you and take you along for the ride. The beautiful imagery and powerful sentence structure will have you feeling the sand and the wind, and seeing the beautiful sunset. These characters are real, flawed and wonderful. The dialogue is quick, witty and intense and will have you falling in love with the characters and the town.
See, I can be good sometimes. Pfffft! :-)
oh, and btw, speaking of good, on Fri. Aug 24th (ie Tomorrow) the lovely Sweeter Romantic Notions Authors will be chatting at Romance Bistro. I'll try to pop in, but that may be difficult as I have a s-i-l visiting from Belgium. Haven't seen her in years!!!! (Hope she brings chocolate) :-)
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Oops - halo slippage
Just got the edits of Scratch That! and seems my potty mouth is bringing me unstuck. May have to change "opened a can of whoop ass" to opened a can of worms." Not quite the same thing. :-)
I'm so evil.
Monday, August 20, 2007
The Beauties of Homeschooling
I'm back to homeschooling my kids. This was a hard decision for me as I hate giving up writing time, but with my kids falling off the planet at the local school, accademically, socially and emotionally, it became imperative. I'll just have to get more efficient.
But the good thing is, I've been able to introduce them to the wonderful world of blogging. For the 8 year old, this means a blog of his own, uploading photos and basically using it as a diary. For the 14 year old this means getting his own email and myspace. He's started making short clips with Windows Movie Maker which he'll upload when he gets a feel for his space. He'll also put up some clips of him playing violin, and blog weekly to keep up to date and form a record of his year. I'm hoping it will put them more in touch with their feelings and lives, teach them a bit of IT, and give them a way to stay connected with any friends they make.
To be honest, it's great to see them excited about something again. Formal school all but dulled that out of them.
But the good thing is, I've been able to introduce them to the wonderful world of blogging. For the 8 year old, this means a blog of his own, uploading photos and basically using it as a diary. For the 14 year old this means getting his own email and myspace. He's started making short clips with Windows Movie Maker which he'll upload when he gets a feel for his space. He'll also put up some clips of him playing violin, and blog weekly to keep up to date and form a record of his year. I'm hoping it will put them more in touch with their feelings and lives, teach them a bit of IT, and give them a way to stay connected with any friends they make.
To be honest, it's great to see them excited about something again. Formal school all but dulled that out of them.
Dayna Magic
“Go Between” by Dayna Hart
Coming August 14th from Samhain Publications
Between two races that hate each other, at the doorway between two worlds, can Claire find the strength to be the emissary they all need?
Book One of The Curtain Torn series.
Halfway through her twenties, her divorce, and a bottle of rye, Claire opens her birthday present—a “pressed fairy” book.
One of the fairies is neither pressed, nor a picture. He’s the sinfully sexy Dell, who’s been trapped inside the book for twenty years. The moment Claire frees him, goblins attack her house. Dell and Claire’s only option is to use a “Between”—a rift between their worlds—to escape into the land of Fae.
There, Claire discovers the elven queen, Eliane, has a mission for her—one that has her keeping secrets from Dell. And ousting the goblins from her home is only the start.
Read An Excerpt Online
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Beat the Glum Bunnies
Y'know, I'm against the bludgoning of innocent baby Harp seals for the fur industry. Yup. Makes me ill to think of it. But some critters deserve to be smashed to a pulp, and the glum bunny is definitely one of them.
Recently, over at Romance Divas, someone posted a thread about being down, and so many girls put their hand up saying they were also in glum bunny hell it was frightening. I know these things breed like ... well, rabbits, but sheesh! What a miserable way to spend our alloted three score and ten. So, I've been considering how we can send that disgusting rodents into a myxomatosis oblivion. Feel free to add your 2c worth and help outfox these "wascally wabbits."
1. Avoid negative people. If someone puts you down more than once without a reason- ie, it's not to help you grow, then stay away from them. Who needs the negativity?
2. Chemical warfare - including antidepresssants, alcohol, bascially anything that makes you feel better by altering your perception. Drugs are good.
3. Exercise. Endorphins are like morphine. See above. Drugs are good.
4, A dose of paralyzing agent either for yourself or for said negative person also works. If they/you can't breath, they can't insult/ you don't care. Again I say, drugs are good.
5. Eat well. Chocolate and other comfort food are a short term fix with long term implications. Basically, they make your warren larger so more glum bunnies can live there. Not good.
6. Succeed and celebrate that success, even if it's a small step. I finally wrote Between the Gutter and the Sky's blurb. Yay- party time! Who has the balloons and ah... did I mention drugs are good?
7. Read inspiring work. Either a book of amazing bloodlines that leaves you gasping from its sheer brilliance, or one so bad you realize you're not the worst writer on the planet. Of course, this can also backfire. Ie. if this crud gets published and I don't, what does that make me? (I think that's called glum bunny pellets.)
8. Treat your inner child well. If you don't give them something fun to play with, they'll wipe jammy fingers on your WIP and dump dirty diapers on your mood and muse.
9. Never allow your glum bunnies and dust bunnies to interbreed. Few things are worse than a filthy mood in a filthy house.
10. For those who are perimenopausal, consider HRT --hormonal rabbit traps. It is natural to collect/attract glum bunnies at this time of life and may be necessary to poison their water supply. Let me advise adding copiuos alcohol. Again I say, drugs are good.
11. Be thankful I didn't mention the Jack Russel of joy or the Ferret of frivolity. I'm saving them for a purple spot. Hmm, maybe I should have that spot chopped off next time I'm at the doctor. I've heard they can turn malignant.
Finally, let me say, you don't have to be the bunny. There are better ways to wear fur. Anyone know a good taxidermist?
Recently, over at Romance Divas, someone posted a thread about being down, and so many girls put their hand up saying they were also in glum bunny hell it was frightening. I know these things breed like ... well, rabbits, but sheesh! What a miserable way to spend our alloted three score and ten. So, I've been considering how we can send that disgusting rodents into a myxomatosis oblivion. Feel free to add your 2c worth and help outfox these "wascally wabbits."
1. Avoid negative people. If someone puts you down more than once without a reason- ie, it's not to help you grow, then stay away from them. Who needs the negativity?
2. Chemical warfare - including antidepresssants, alcohol, bascially anything that makes you feel better by altering your perception. Drugs are good.
3. Exercise. Endorphins are like morphine. See above. Drugs are good.
4, A dose of paralyzing agent either for yourself or for said negative person also works. If they/you can't breath, they can't insult/ you don't care. Again I say, drugs are good.
5. Eat well. Chocolate and other comfort food are a short term fix with long term implications. Basically, they make your warren larger so more glum bunnies can live there. Not good.
6. Succeed and celebrate that success, even if it's a small step. I finally wrote Between the Gutter and the Sky's blurb. Yay- party time! Who has the balloons and ah... did I mention drugs are good?
7. Read inspiring work. Either a book of amazing bloodlines that leaves you gasping from its sheer brilliance, or one so bad you realize you're not the worst writer on the planet. Of course, this can also backfire. Ie. if this crud gets published and I don't, what does that make me? (I think that's called glum bunny pellets.)
8. Treat your inner child well. If you don't give them something fun to play with, they'll wipe jammy fingers on your WIP and dump dirty diapers on your mood and muse.
9. Never allow your glum bunnies and dust bunnies to interbreed. Few things are worse than a filthy mood in a filthy house.
10. For those who are perimenopausal, consider HRT --hormonal rabbit traps. It is natural to collect/attract glum bunnies at this time of life and may be necessary to poison their water supply. Let me advise adding copiuos alcohol. Again I say, drugs are good.
11. Be thankful I didn't mention the Jack Russel of joy or the Ferret of frivolity. I'm saving them for a purple spot. Hmm, maybe I should have that spot chopped off next time I'm at the doctor. I've heard they can turn malignant.
Finally, let me say, you don't have to be the bunny. There are better ways to wear fur. Anyone know a good taxidermist?
Monday, August 13, 2007
Gee, Some People Are Tough!
The arrogance of some people in this biz scares the beejeezers out of me and I don't know how to respond - whether to be shocked, or just plain pissed (honestly, if I ever act in that way do me a favor and prick my bubble. Please!) I'm just a little writer telling stories to entertain people, and didn't realize I was supposed to grovel to anyone willing to read my words. Not gonna happen -- sorry folks. I mean, at the end of the day we are all people and even the queen doesn't seem so regal caught on the can with her drawers down, right?
Take the recent debacle with the A and R Whitcoulls Group, a.k.a. the Angus and Robertson bookstore chain. That's kinda relevant to me since I recently went into our local branch to see if they had the Cup of Comfort books in stock and was told, yes, they could get them in, but they didn't stock them on the shelves. Hmm -- how many do you think we're gonna sell there, even if the press does a release? My guess would be none if readers can't see the books to fall in love with them, esp if they have to wait 6-9 weeks for an order to come in. Today's reader waits for no man. Or woman. I also noticed Eden Bradley and Gemma Halliday's books were not on their shelves, either. When I asked, I was told they too could be ordered in the same waiting deal as the Cup of Comfort stuff. Sigh. As Australia’s largest bookseller, with 180 bookstores and about 20% of the retail market, what's the story with A and R's limited range? It seems to be shrinking daily, or is that just my impression?
Anyhu, then I came across the article over at Making Light http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/009263.html
and my brows about hit the roof.
A and R's commercial manager, Charlie Rimmer, recently sent a startling letter to Australian small publishers and distributors, demanding a substantial payment from each by August 17 (reportedly ranging from AU$2,500 to AU$20,000) if they want A and R to keep selling their books!!! They concluded that they have far too many suppliers and "over 40% of our supplier agreements fall below our requirements in terms of profit earned... Accordingly, we will be rationalizing our supplier numbers and setting a minimum earnings ratio of income to trade purchases that we expect to achieve from our suppliers."
Now I would have thought that having multiple suppliers—that is, a broad range of publishers and books to choose from— was a good thing. More choices, greater reader selection, more sales and so on. Everyone would benefit. But what would I know?
A and R's solution? They've "invited" said small suppliers to pay an attached invoice by Aug 17th 2007 to cover the gap for their business, and move them from an unacceptable level of profitability, to "above minimum threshold." If they fail to receive payment, they "will have no option but to remove ... from their list of authorised suppliers", and said businesses will "be unable to complete any further transactions with (A and R) until such time as the payment is made."
Yikes! It's a blackmail note! Even the remaining braincell not beat out of me at conference can see that! (Hmm, can I use this in an upcoming suspense novel? I'm really struggling to find something funny about it though.)
According to Michael Rakusin-Director of Tower Books Pty Ltd
"that’s a death threat. (no kiding!) They can’t afford to pay the mordida now, they can’t afford to give A and R a bigger discount, and they can’t afford to lose that large a percentage of their retail sales."
Interpretation- either way, they're screwed!
And if not for small press, where will those odd, offbeat different voices we've all come to know and love find a home? Used to be we jostled to be published, then to be seen as published because of the pecking order in WHERE we were published. But being published is no longer enough. Now we have to pay randsom to even get shelf space for published books. Scary stuff, no?
Take the recent debacle with the A and R Whitcoulls Group, a.k.a. the Angus and Robertson bookstore chain. That's kinda relevant to me since I recently went into our local branch to see if they had the Cup of Comfort books in stock and was told, yes, they could get them in, but they didn't stock them on the shelves. Hmm -- how many do you think we're gonna sell there, even if the press does a release? My guess would be none if readers can't see the books to fall in love with them, esp if they have to wait 6-9 weeks for an order to come in. Today's reader waits for no man. Or woman. I also noticed Eden Bradley and Gemma Halliday's books were not on their shelves, either. When I asked, I was told they too could be ordered in the same waiting deal as the Cup of Comfort stuff. Sigh. As Australia’s largest bookseller, with 180 bookstores and about 20% of the retail market, what's the story with A and R's limited range? It seems to be shrinking daily, or is that just my impression?
Anyhu, then I came across the article over at Making Light http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/009263.html
and my brows about hit the roof.
A and R's commercial manager, Charlie Rimmer, recently sent a startling letter to Australian small publishers and distributors, demanding a substantial payment from each by August 17 (reportedly ranging from AU$2,500 to AU$20,000) if they want A and R to keep selling their books!!! They concluded that they have far too many suppliers and "over 40% of our supplier agreements fall below our requirements in terms of profit earned... Accordingly, we will be rationalizing our supplier numbers and setting a minimum earnings ratio of income to trade purchases that we expect to achieve from our suppliers."
Now I would have thought that having multiple suppliers—that is, a broad range of publishers and books to choose from— was a good thing. More choices, greater reader selection, more sales and so on. Everyone would benefit. But what would I know?
A and R's solution? They've "invited" said small suppliers to pay an attached invoice by Aug 17th 2007 to cover the gap for their business, and move them from an unacceptable level of profitability, to "above minimum threshold." If they fail to receive payment, they "will have no option but to remove ... from their list of authorised suppliers", and said businesses will "be unable to complete any further transactions with (A and R) until such time as the payment is made."
Yikes! It's a blackmail note! Even the remaining braincell not beat out of me at conference can see that! (Hmm, can I use this in an upcoming suspense novel? I'm really struggling to find something funny about it though.)
According to Michael Rakusin-Director of Tower Books Pty Ltd
"that’s a death threat. (no kiding!) They can’t afford to pay the mordida now, they can’t afford to give A and R a bigger discount, and they can’t afford to lose that large a percentage of their retail sales."
Interpretation- either way, they're screwed!
And if not for small press, where will those odd, offbeat different voices we've all come to know and love find a home? Used to be we jostled to be published, then to be seen as published because of the pecking order in WHERE we were published. But being published is no longer enough. Now we have to pay randsom to even get shelf space for published books. Scary stuff, no?
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Going AWOL
I'm off to Sydney to the Australian Romance Writer's Conference. Be good while I'm gone. :-) Hopefully I'll return with heaps of gossip. Plus, I get to learn from Jennifer Crusie. What could be better than that. :-) sigh
Monday, August 06, 2007
Thanks to you all!
I'd like to thank everyone who entered The Marian Kind contest. You rock! P. Tupper, check your email, honey. :-)
Sunday, August 05, 2007
I've been Interviewed
Pondering Blog- linked to Romance Reader at Heart- did an interview with Deb, Laura and myself in the wake of Brides & Bouquets 2007.
You can find it here.
http://rrahponderings.blogspot.com/2007/08/q-of-authors-of-brides-bouquets-2007.html
but I had to behave coz I had my halo gagging me. [For an ungagged interview, you'll have to wait until The Long and Short of It spot comes up -- I'm talking about The Marian Kind there. I'll let ya know ;-) ]
You can find it here.
http://rrahponderings.blogspot.com/2007/08/q-of-authors-of-brides-bouquets-2007.html
but I had to behave coz I had my halo gagging me. [For an ungagged interview, you'll have to wait until The Long and Short of It spot comes up -- I'm talking about The Marian Kind there. I'll let ya know ;-) ]
And I didn't yet mention this review...
From the long and the short of it review site. What a nice review. Made me smile. :-)
By guest reviewer: Nancy Lindley-Gauthier.
The Marian Kind
by Babe King
The Marian Kind by Babe King is one of those tales that does not coax the reader gently into the story, but seizes them by the throat and hauls them directly into the front seat of the dusty pickup truck. When Marian discovers some other lady's er, enhancements in handsome Rob's gym bags, the game is on. Jealousy fuels the start of this story, but incredible attraction fuels the love affair. Think you can guess what happens next?
Never: not unless a granny with occasional, convenient 'dementia' has already occurred to you. There is nothing predictable here. From powerful and unexpected characters to bizarre events, this story keeps your attention. And the discoveries along the way - like how chocolate bubble bath might disagree with your average computer circuitry - only add to the fun.
Clever descriptions offer a bit of a giggle in between fast action scenes (the love interest is compared to an array of fresh-from-the bakery delights) and the romance sizzles all the way through. The Marian Kind by Babe King is a quick read because it simply won't allow the reader to step away.
Saturday, August 04, 2007
'Nuther Sale!!!
Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! "Scratch That!" just sold to Cup of Comfort for Cat Lovers. I am delighted! I love these books.
and this is a good time to remind you that Cup of Comfort for Dog Lovers comes out August 8th! I lead that anthology with "Bloodlines and Heartstrings." Yep, Cup of Comfort have been good to me, not to mention Colleen is a real darling to work with.
and this is a good time to remind you that Cup of Comfort for Dog Lovers comes out August 8th! I lead that anthology with "Bloodlines and Heartstrings." Yep, Cup of Comfort have been good to me, not to mention Colleen is a real darling to work with.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Contest Reminder
Just a reminder that this contest is still running and draws August 6th!
Raspberry Creme Heaven Chocolate, Marshmallow Parfait Bath Beads, Gel and scrubber, and 2 bilby chocolates for your pillow. Mmmm. That really is my idea of heaven!
How to make it yours ...
On July 10th, Freya's Bower release my romantic comedy suspense, "The Marian Kind." For the paltry sum of $3.25, I promise you a fun, wild ride.
Check it out!
http://www.freyasbower.com/content/view/217/76/
So buy the book, email me Granny Tuck's name for Dogzilla at
mixalns@yahoo.com
and you'll go in the running to win this great prize. I'll draw the lucky reader on my birthday, August 6th. Entries are automatically added to my reader's list, and I'll also be drawing one lucky reader from that list to win their choice of either a stuffed bilby, or an Australia bag.
So lots of prizes! Get reading! Get entering! And good luck!
Romance and mayhem have never been more fun!
Raspberry Creme Heaven Chocolate, Marshmallow Parfait Bath Beads, Gel and scrubber, and 2 bilby chocolates for your pillow. Mmmm. That really is my idea of heaven!
How to make it yours ...
On July 10th, Freya's Bower release my romantic comedy suspense, "The Marian Kind." For the paltry sum of $3.25, I promise you a fun, wild ride.
Check it out!
http://www.freyasbower.com/content/view/217/76/
So buy the book, email me Granny Tuck's name for Dogzilla at
mixalns@yahoo.com
and you'll go in the running to win this great prize. I'll draw the lucky reader on my birthday, August 6th. Entries are automatically added to my reader's list, and I'll also be drawing one lucky reader from that list to win their choice of either a stuffed bilby, or an Australia bag.
So lots of prizes! Get reading! Get entering! And good luck!
Romance and mayhem have never been more fun!
Sold!
Freya's Bower contracted Between the Gutter and the Sky! Yay! Release will probably be November-ish. Color me excited. I love this story. My very first novel, finally in the hands of readers. Squeeee!
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Getting it Back in the Box....
Those who read my madcap romantic comedies may be surprised to know I have a dark side. Which isn't so odd when you think about it. How do you know you have light unless it cuts through darkness? In a very Machiavellian sense, one creates/defines the other.
I think of my writing like a perfume. Comedy is the happy top note -- the first thing people notice and pick up. It engages the senses and is pleasing. Darkness is the base note -- that underlying depth that allows the lighter scents to delight. It lingers longer and works on a different part of your senses. A peripheral awareness that changes how you perceive the whole.
So far, I haven't combined them equally in one story, though I suppose all my stories contain a subtle dab of the other end of the spectrum. A touch of black in the humor. A touch of humor in the despair.
I just finished getting my first novel length romance edited for a full request. I love this story. Between the Gutter and the Sky was the reason I started writing in the first place. A fire in my belly that demanded to be quenched. But, despite humorous banter between the hero and heroine, this is no comedy. In fact, the story dipped into dark, skinned off areas of my past. Places that maybe should have remained hidden. Locked away. Because Gutter deals with control coming from emotional
pain. How love can break through that control and yet cushion the pain to make it bearable.
Yeah, Gutter is personal. I wait with baited breath to see how others will react to this story, to see if it resonates with their own dark, skinned areas, too.
My reactions to editing this piece made me reconsider the whole "open a vein on the page" philosophy. Yes, hopefully it makes for stirring, emotional, resonant reading, but how does the author recover from that? How do you stem the bleeding? Get your shit back in the box?
I put this to my fellow writers over on Romance Divas, and thought their insightful suggestions should be listed here, in case you, too, need some emotional first aid.
Mama Divine: burn a copy of it. one page at a time even. bury the ashes. plant a tree or something in the spot. and then have something bubbly to drink.
Lisa: talking about it with someone I trust. Then, once everything necessary is said, I spend a few days mulling it over before I realize that the past is the past-done and gone and nothing I can do about it. I can choose to let whatever happened have power over me, or I can choose to move ahead.
Nell: Open a special file and spend the first five mins of your writing time getting it out of your system in there then go ack to what you want to do.
3jen: calm and center yourself. Going running (almost every day) does that for me. A combination of the deep breathing, the exertion that burns off excess adrenaline, the sensation that yes, you can run away from your problems
Adelle : Bring pen to paper and get it out, so you can let the past be the past and move forward.
Seeley : if you feel the need to 'talk' blog it under a different name. That way it's not only written, it's out there.
RG: Exercise, stretching while you allow yourself to breathe aka yoga, sitting with your feet/or bottom firmly on the ground and allowing yourself to "root" into the earth for balance. You'll find the physical movements help with the mental. If you need to focus on why it is you feel this way those activities should clear your mind enough to separate thought and emotion.
Ashley: Writing itself is cathartic. When I get like that, it's the ONLY thing that exorcises those demons.
Kristen: endorphin-releasing activity might be good, dancing, singing, sex - whatever
Cup of Noodles: I simply use it
Cinthia: WRITE IT....longhand on paper. In a journal, a notebook, whatever. There's something very meditative and deeply personal about the connection between our emotions and the paper with the pen/pencil acting as a medium.
So if you find yourself bleeding and shocked after finishing a piece of work, firstly, kudos. It takes courage to bleed. But mostly I hope these suggestions bring you comfort and healing. In shared wisdom and experience there is strength.
I think of my writing like a perfume. Comedy is the happy top note -- the first thing people notice and pick up. It engages the senses and is pleasing. Darkness is the base note -- that underlying depth that allows the lighter scents to delight. It lingers longer and works on a different part of your senses. A peripheral awareness that changes how you perceive the whole.
So far, I haven't combined them equally in one story, though I suppose all my stories contain a subtle dab of the other end of the spectrum. A touch of black in the humor. A touch of humor in the despair.
I just finished getting my first novel length romance edited for a full request. I love this story. Between the Gutter and the Sky was the reason I started writing in the first place. A fire in my belly that demanded to be quenched. But, despite humorous banter between the hero and heroine, this is no comedy. In fact, the story dipped into dark, skinned off areas of my past. Places that maybe should have remained hidden. Locked away. Because Gutter deals with control coming from emotional
pain. How love can break through that control and yet cushion the pain to make it bearable.
Yeah, Gutter is personal. I wait with baited breath to see how others will react to this story, to see if it resonates with their own dark, skinned areas, too.
My reactions to editing this piece made me reconsider the whole "open a vein on the page" philosophy. Yes, hopefully it makes for stirring, emotional, resonant reading, but how does the author recover from that? How do you stem the bleeding? Get your shit back in the box?
I put this to my fellow writers over on Romance Divas, and thought their insightful suggestions should be listed here, in case you, too, need some emotional first aid.
Mama Divine: burn a copy of it. one page at a time even. bury the ashes. plant a tree or something in the spot. and then have something bubbly to drink.
Lisa: talking about it with someone I trust. Then, once everything necessary is said, I spend a few days mulling it over before I realize that the past is the past-done and gone and nothing I can do about it. I can choose to let whatever happened have power over me, or I can choose to move ahead.
Nell: Open a special file and spend the first five mins of your writing time getting it out of your system in there then go ack to what you want to do.
3jen: calm and center yourself. Going running (almost every day) does that for me. A combination of the deep breathing, the exertion that burns off excess adrenaline, the sensation that yes, you can run away from your problems
Adelle : Bring pen to paper and get it out, so you can let the past be the past and move forward.
Seeley : if you feel the need to 'talk' blog it under a different name. That way it's not only written, it's out there.
RG: Exercise, stretching while you allow yourself to breathe aka yoga, sitting with your feet/or bottom firmly on the ground and allowing yourself to "root" into the earth for balance. You'll find the physical movements help with the mental. If you need to focus on why it is you feel this way those activities should clear your mind enough to separate thought and emotion.
Ashley: Writing itself is cathartic. When I get like that, it's the ONLY thing that exorcises those demons.
Kristen: endorphin-releasing activity might be good, dancing, singing, sex - whatever
Cup of Noodles: I simply use it
Cinthia: WRITE IT....longhand on paper. In a journal, a notebook, whatever. There's something very meditative and deeply personal about the connection between our emotions and the paper with the pen/pencil acting as a medium.
So if you find yourself bleeding and shocked after finishing a piece of work, firstly, kudos. It takes courage to bleed. But mostly I hope these suggestions bring you comfort and healing. In shared wisdom and experience there is strength.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Sweet As...
If you like your romance sweet and heartfelt and you haven't yet been to Sweeter Romantic Notions, why not? They have a new site up, and I have to say, Diana and Dayna are amazing in the work they do.
Here's the page they put in about me.
http://www.sweeterromanticnotions.com/?page_id=15
I'm chuffed. :-)
Here's the page they put in about me.
http://www.sweeterromanticnotions.com/?page_id=15
I'm chuffed. :-)
Thursday 13
Men are lucky. No hormones. Well, none that count. Testosterone is a friend. Not so progesterone. Here for my fellow sufferers are 13 explanations of the acronym PMS.
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Plainly, men suck!
3. Ply Me with Sugar
4. Pissy Mood Syndrome
5. Padded Middle Sweatpants
6. Pimples May Show
7. Puffy Mid Section
8. Potential Murder Suspect
9. Psychosis Makes Sense
10. Purchase More Shoes
11. Psycho Manic Shopper
12. Pack My Stuff
13. Pricks May Suffer
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
M.I.A.
Yep, I've been missing in action, or mia culpa, whichever way you want to read that. I was desperate to get into the Jennifer Crusie sessions at the August conference, but needed a novel length MS pubbed to do so. So, I sent a query to Freya's Bower. Next day I got a request for 50p, and less than 24 hrs later a request for a full. But Between the Gutter and the Sky needed some major edits. This was the first novel I ever wrote, and it is heart-rending fire-in-the-belly stuff all the way, but I didn't have any craft when I wrote it. Soooooooo, had to fix head hopping and jiggle scene arcs and remove telling. That kinda thing. But it's DONE! And I love it. Made me cry, uncontrollably, even 4 years after I wrote it. I'm certain Freya's Bower will pick it up. Certain. I am proud of this book. And that feels good.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
I won a Book!
Second Sight by Debbie Mumford. Deb is a fellow Freya's Bower writer, and here's her latest short (though not from FB.)
by
Debbie Mumford
Archaeologist Erin Carstedter is a no-nonsense kind of gal. Her colleagues know, if she can’t examine it with a microscope or define it by scientific method, it doesn’t exist. Erin’s beliefs are about to be tested by the most exciting archaeological find of this (or any other) century. A ruin has been discovered beneath the polar ice cap some fifty miles north of Alert, Canada. What Erin and her colleague, Dr. Matt Davidson, discover in those icy depths will challenge her thinking…and change the world forever.
Publisher: Lavender Isis Press
Buy Beneath and Beyond here!
I've only just got into Second SIght, but I can tell you it's dark and gritty, with a sideorder of paranormal. So if that's your thing, why not check her out?
Beneath and Beyond
by
Debbie Mumford
Archaeologist Erin Carstedter is a no-nonsense kind of gal. Her colleagues know, if she can’t examine it with a microscope or define it by scientific method, it doesn’t exist. Erin’s beliefs are about to be tested by the most exciting archaeological find of this (or any other) century. A ruin has been discovered beneath the polar ice cap some fifty miles north of Alert, Canada. What Erin and her colleague, Dr. Matt Davidson, discover in those icy depths will challenge her thinking…and change the world forever.
Publisher: Lavender Isis Press
Genre: Science Fiction / Fantasy
Format: eStory (23 pages)
Buy Beneath and Beyond here!
I've only just got into Second SIght, but I can tell you it's dark and gritty, with a sideorder of paranormal. So if that's your thing, why not check her out?
Ronda Thompson Passes
And we're all in shock. So quick! And a warning to us all not to take our time here for granted. Every day is a gift, even if some of those you wish you could return and exchange.
The timing threw me, since I had just started to read my first Ronda Thompson this week. One of her Wulfs of London series. I've been meaning to for ages. Kristen put me onto her, but I started and then... well, let's just say if I was on a boat, they might throw me overboard as a jinx.
So cancer claims another victim, curse it! We're none of us immune. I offer my condolences to all who knew Ronda, and I lift a virtual glass in her honor.
RIP Ronda Thompson.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Pimps
I've been pimped all over the place today. Had a list of sites, but the computer ate them. Drat! I do still have this one from Pet's Gazette which is pimping the anthology I lead- Cup of Comfort for Dog Lovers- releases August http://www.okpetgazette.com/
Don't forget to enter my contests for The Marian Kind and Something Blue!
And if you're not going to the Romance Diva virtual conference, why not? Rhonda did a great trim the fat seminar that saw me murder a dozen thats. The Larsen Pomada agency had an interesting talk where I found out she's looking for an MS just like the one I'm currently writing. Fancy that! Plus there's the bar and awesome door prizes. So move your bootie on over there!
Babe (who really needs more than 3 hours sleep... yawn.)
Don't forget to enter my contests for The Marian Kind and Something Blue!
And if you're not going to the Romance Diva virtual conference, why not? Rhonda did a great trim the fat seminar that saw me murder a dozen thats. The Larsen Pomada agency had an interesting talk where I found out she's looking for an MS just like the one I'm currently writing. Fancy that! Plus there's the bar and awesome door prizes. So move your bootie on over there!
Babe (who really needs more than 3 hours sleep... yawn.)
The Marian Kind Now On Sale!
And the first review is out, too! Cocktail Reviews gave The Marian Kind 5 champagne flutes!!!
Author: Babe King
Publisher: Freya’s Bower
REVIEW BY BLACK RUSSIAN
What a nutso read! Marian, the daughter of a funeral director, makes the dead pretty. If anyone knows how to use make-up, she does! While having a conversation with her boyfriend, Rob, she gets the idea in her head that he wants to break up with her, that he is hiding something. It doesn’t help that Rob has been spending time with a woman named Jennifer Perrin. Marian’s thoughts run wild. However, she soon finds out that he has been hiding a little more than she bargained for…
Set yourself up for a fun ride! Marian aids Rob in unravelling a mystery, one that takes them to the office of the local Sheriff. Here, they meet an annoying dog and Granny, a.k.a Celia Tuck. Dog and Granny join Marian and Rob on their quest to solve a crime, with hilarious results. A fake boob implant brings hilarity to the tale, along with excellent one-liners that made me laugh out loud.
A breath of fresh air, The Marian Kind is a must read for all romantic comedy readers.
Favourite lines:
He took a scone and stared like it was Snow White’s apple. Personally, I never saw Snow White’s problem. I mean, the girl escaped a ton of housework for those messy dwarves, had a lovely long nap surrounded by flowers, then got woken by a handsome prince and lived happily ever after in a palace. Hello? I should be so lucky.
Either the fairies in her top paddock were contagious or the music was for real.—top paddock! Hilarious!
None so shabby, eh?
Sunday, July 08, 2007
This Could Be Yours!
Raspberry Creme Heaven Chocolate, Marshmallow Parfait Bath Beads, Gel and scrubber, and 2 bilby chocolates for your pillow. Mmmm. That really is my idea of heaven!
How to make it yours ...
On July 10th, Freya's Bower release my romantic comedy suspense, "The Marian Kind." For the paltry sum of $3.25, I promise you a fun, wild ride.
Check it out!
http://www.freyasbower.com/content/view/217/76/
So buy the book, email me Granny Tuck's name for Dogzilla at
mixalns@yahoo.com
and you'll go in the running to win this great prize. I'll draw the lucky reader on my birthday, August 6th. Entries are automatically added to my reader's list, and I'll also be drawing one lucky reader from that list to win their choice of either a stuffed bilby, or an Australia bag.
So lots of prizes! Get reading! Get entering! And good luck!
Romance and mayhem have never been more fun!
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Invitation & a free Read!
Chats & Free Reads!
Come and join Freya's Bower this coming weekend (July 7 & 8) at our Yahoo Author Chat group . This will be an entire weekend of FB authors. We will have some fun giveaways, Q&A, and just plain old good times with fast and furious conversation mixed in. Be sure to join early as new members to FB's Author Chat group are subject to approval.
FB will also be hosting a live chat on Sunday, July 8.
When: 8:00 p.m. EST
Where: http://kmfrontain.cbox.ws/
How: Secure your screen name and register by clicking the "profile" link.
In other news, Freya's Bower is starting free reads!
Freya's Bower will be offering a new free download through our store once a month. Sometimes, the story will be as long as a novella; other times, it will be a short story.
The first two chapters of this month's free read are only available through Freya's Bower store newsletter, which you can join once you register in the store, and will be available starting next week. If you are already a member, you are in luck. If you aren't, all you have to do is sign up for the FB newsletter by becoming a member of our store and checking the box to receive our newsletter. None of your information will ever be sold or used for anything other than the newsletter. The rest of the novella will be available for download absolutely free. No purchase is necessary!
Come and join Freya's Bower this coming weekend (July 7 & 8) at our Yahoo Author Chat group . This will be an entire weekend of FB authors. We will have some fun giveaways, Q&A, and just plain old good times with fast and furious conversation mixed in. Be sure to join early as new members to FB's Author Chat group are subject to approval.
FB will also be hosting a live chat on Sunday, July 8.
When: 8:00 p.m. EST
Where: http://kmfrontain.cbox.ws/
How: Secure your screen name and register by clicking the "profile" link.
In other news, Freya's Bower is starting free reads!
Freya's Bower will be offering a new free download through our store once a month. Sometimes, the story will be as long as a novella; other times, it will be a short story.
The first two chapters of this month's free read are only available through Freya's Bower store newsletter, which you can join once you register in the store, and will be available starting next week. If you are already a member, you are in luck. If you aren't, all you have to do is sign up for the FB newsletter by becoming a member of our store and checking the box to receive our newsletter. None of your information will ever be sold or used for anything other than the newsletter. The rest of the novella will be available for download absolutely free. No purchase is necessary!
Just Say No!
1. An invitation to Peter Benchley's Beach Party
2. Or to Rosemary's Baby Shower
3. A lift from Dodi and Di
4. Or Princess Di
5. Or really anyone with die in their name
6. A free shave and haircut in Fleet Street
7. A Sleep Over with Jimmy Jones
8. Or at the McBeth's house
9. A shower at Bates Motel
10. A manicure booked by the jigsaw killer
11. An invitation to Willard's Pet Show
12. Jacko's Baby Sitting service
13. The question, "Do you mind if I give you a Babe King romance?" :-)
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Contest Reminder
Brides and Bouquets 2007 is available for sale at Lulu and I just wanted to remind you of the contest I'm holding to say thank you to my readers.
Pastor Nathan awaits his version of Gideon’s fleece before asking his childhood love, Petra, to marry him. But a self-righteous businessman, savior of their village, asks her first! It’ll take an ugly town fountain, homicidal high heels and an irate Irishman to prove God really does work in mysterious ways.
Paperback book $11.74
Download $4.69
Click to Buy Now!
Email me at
mixalns@yahoo.com
and quote a line from the dedication on "Something Blue" (as proof of purchase) to go into the running to win a copy of Brides and Bouquets 2006.
Any entry that also signs up for my reader's list will also go in the running for an Australian treat-- their choice of either a bag or a stuffed bilby. Please state if you only read sweet, or if you also read tangy.
So your entry should be:
Your name
a line from the dedication
yes/no to join the readers list
sweet only/sweet and tangy/tangy only
Simple!
Good luck! Keep those entries coming!
For those of you who prefer snark, don't despair. "The Marian Kind" comes out any day with Freya's Bower, and I'll be running a similar contest for that one. So stay tuned.
Woohoo! I won!
My romantic novel, Come to Heal, just took out the contemporary sector of The Golden Acorn for Excellence in Writing. Color me happy!
Here are the other esteemed finalists.
Contemporary~ judged by Keyren Gerlach, Harlequin
1st Babe King Come to Heal
2nd Lise Horton Baby, Don't Get Hooked on Me
3rd Katie Reus Love in the Ancient City
4th Merilee Larson Melting the Ice
5th Abigail Strom A First Time for Everything
Thursday, June 28, 2007
I've been Pimped!
As one of RG's favorite things. How cute is this!
http://rgalexander.blogspot.com/
Luv ya, RG. You rock, girl.
http://rgalexander.blogspot.com/
Luv ya, RG. You rock, girl.
Monday, June 25, 2007
a promise to Thomas
Okay, my life has been crazy mad busy, but I promised Thomas to play his game and I'm only 3 days late. Sorry.
Here are the rules:
a. Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves.
b. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed.
c. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.
But, 8 things about me.
1. I was silly enough to have 2 releasing books this month. (Anyone know a cure for baldness?)
2. I totally suck at HTML, which is making my life hard as I try to put up messages to advertise my book and contest. In fact I think HTML stands for Help! Too Much Learning!
3. I've been away for the past 2 days because my son got an interview/audition at a top-notch high school and I now have everything crossed hoping he gets the music scholarship he's going for because I'd need to sell my organs to be able to afford full fees. Which, by the way, is my excuse for being late and for missing my own release party at By Grace for Something Blue. The interview, not the missing organs. Yes, I SUCK at promo, but my kids come first.
4. I have weird little toenails. Yup. Weird. So tiny that when I paint them they look like little ladybugs.
5. And I must be more tired than I thought to admit that! :-) I'm beautiful on the inside. Does that count? Of course at the moment I'm tired and grotty and have a mountain of washing to do so I'm not that pretty on the inside either....next question???
6. I have naturally curly hair. I have tried every serum known to man, large curlers, wands, you name it. My hair will break off before it stays straight. I'm resigned. Life is better with a little kink, anyway. (And aren't you all glad I don't write erotica after a statement like that!)
7. I am the only female in the house except for the dog, and she's spayed. Not sure what that means, but there you have it.
8. My fav flowers are big, blowsy peonies. Though freesias are a close second.
And I tag Kristen, Heather, Sela, Amanda, Eva, Maggie, Gina and Lara
Here are the rules:
a. Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves.
b. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed.
c. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.
But, 8 things about me.
1. I was silly enough to have 2 releasing books this month. (Anyone know a cure for baldness?)
2. I totally suck at HTML, which is making my life hard as I try to put up messages to advertise my book and contest. In fact I think HTML stands for Help! Too Much Learning!
3. I've been away for the past 2 days because my son got an interview/audition at a top-notch high school and I now have everything crossed hoping he gets the music scholarship he's going for because I'd need to sell my organs to be able to afford full fees. Which, by the way, is my excuse for being late and for missing my own release party at By Grace for Something Blue. The interview, not the missing organs. Yes, I SUCK at promo, but my kids come first.
4. I have weird little toenails. Yup. Weird. So tiny that when I paint them they look like little ladybugs.
5. And I must be more tired than I thought to admit that! :-) I'm beautiful on the inside. Does that count? Of course at the moment I'm tired and grotty and have a mountain of washing to do so I'm not that pretty on the inside either....next question???
6. I have naturally curly hair. I have tried every serum known to man, large curlers, wands, you name it. My hair will break off before it stays straight. I'm resigned. Life is better with a little kink, anyway. (And aren't you all glad I don't write erotica after a statement like that!)
7. I am the only female in the house except for the dog, and she's spayed. Not sure what that means, but there you have it.
8. My fav flowers are big, blowsy peonies. Though freesias are a close second.
And I tag Kristen, Heather, Sela, Amanda, Eva, Maggie, Gina and Lara
Friday, June 22, 2007
Win! Win! Win!
Brides and Bouquets 2007 is now available for sale at Lulu
Pastor Nathan awaits his version of Gideon’s fleece before asking his childhood love, Petra, to marry him. But a self-righteous businessman, savior of their village, asks her first! It’ll take an ugly town fountain, homicidal high heels and an irate Irishman to prove God really does work in mysterious ways.
Paperback book $11.74
Download $4.69
Click to Buy Now!
As a way to say thank you to my readers, I am holding a contest. Email me at
mixalns@yahoo.com
and quote a line from the dedication on "Something Blue" (as proof of purchase) to go into the running to win a copy of Brides and Bouquets 2006.
Any entry that also signs up for my reader's list will also go in the running for an Australian treat-- their choice of either a bag or a stuffed bilby. Please state if you only read sweet, or if you also read tangy.
So your entry should be:
Your name
a line from the dedication
yes/no to join the readers list
sweet only/sweet and tangy/tangy only
Simple!
Good luck!
For those of you who prefer snark, don't despair. "The Marian Kind" comes out this month too and I'll be running a similar contest for that one. So stay tuned.
Pastor Nathan awaits his version of Gideon’s fleece before asking his childhood love, Petra, to marry him. But a self-righteous businessman, savior of their village, asks her first! It’ll take an ugly town fountain, homicidal high heels and an irate Irishman to prove God really does work in mysterious ways.
Paperback book $11.74
Download $4.69
Click to Buy Now!
As a way to say thank you to my readers, I am holding a contest. Email me at
mixalns@yahoo.com
and quote a line from the dedication on "Something Blue" (as proof of purchase) to go into the running to win a copy of Brides and Bouquets 2006.
Any entry that also signs up for my reader's list will also go in the running for an Australian treat-- their choice of either a bag or a stuffed bilby. Please state if you only read sweet, or if you also read tangy.
So your entry should be:
Your name
a line from the dedication
yes/no to join the readers list
sweet only/sweet and tangy/tangy only
Simple!
Good luck!
For those of you who prefer snark, don't despair. "The Marian Kind" comes out this month too and I'll be running a similar contest for that one. So stay tuned.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Thursday Thirteen
Since Marian,the heroine of "The Marian Kind" (which releases June 21, you know, in case I haven't chewed your ear off yet)is the make-up artist in a funeral home, I thought I'd stick with the theme. So this week it's
To many, the morgue is a place shrouded in secrecy and exceedingly grave, yet......
1. So many are dying to get in there.
2. It's a great place to have a formalin.
3. You can always get a table.
4. And they have their own tag team.
5. But their sleeping bags leave something to be desired.
6. In the morgue, blue is the new black.
7. And YOU can be the life of the party.
8. It's the place God leaves his empties.
9. So definitely BYO spirits.
10. But even without a TV, people there know what happens when you Cross Jordon
11. And most think they're hairdressers, since they've already curled up and dyed
12. But it's not the place to let anyone slip you some skin or lend you a hand
13. However, it is a great place to chill.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
And Yet Another Cover!
"Something Blue" comes out soon -- the fourth week of June, in the By Grace Brides and Bouquets anthology 2007. This is an inspy novella, so comes under my alter-ego, Lyndell King. Sometimes it takes an ugly fountain, homicidal high heels and an irate Irishman to prove that God works in mysterious ways.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Cover for "Cup of Comfort for Dog Lovers"
I LOVE this cover, and I'm really proud to lead this anthology. I can't wait to get a copy into my hot little hand. So if you're looking for a lovely gift for the dog lover in your life, look no further. It's out in August. Presales already being taken at Amazon. http://www.amazon.ca/Cup-Comfort-Dog-Lovers-Companionship/dp/1598692690 (Clickable link available in my sidebar)
Do yourself a favor! Did I mention I love these books? Squee!
Feed Someone a Story
I think this is a fantastic cause. For a 500 word story you can feed a needy person. Go here.
http://www.spreadthesharing.com/StoriesofSharing/TellStoryThanks.aspx
Yep, I entered, though I did have to fodge my zipcode to get it through. :-)
Whatcha waiting for? Go feed the hungry!
How did you spend your day?
I'm such a techy midget that this postcard took me 6 hours. Yes, 6! Mostly while things refused to download or went into the ether. And you know what? Vistaprint still won't load it. Yes, I am well and truly ready to start putting my last TT to use. Watch out!
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Of Corpse I'm Playing....
In "The Marian Kind, my release with Freya's Bower this month, my hero has a problem -- a dead body in his bathtub that threatens to expose his illegal, philanthropic activities. What would YOU do? This week I decided to brainstorm his problem.
You could:
1. Bury them in a shallow grave with a sprinkling of lime. Warning: Do not substitute lemon.
2. Use them as the non-moving extra in a zombie movie. Be aware there are many living actors also suited to this part.
3. Use as a fail-safe date for really ugly friends.
4. Dress them as a hobo and sit them on a cross-town tram. Warning: other disguises may not work since you must also account for the odor.
5. Use as a scarecrow since they're already stuffed.
6. Hang beside your front door with a rolled-up "Watchtower" in their hands as a dogma deterrent.
7. Use them as the before shot in skin commercials.
8. Send to Egypt to desiccate. Everyone knows that sun-dried anything is healthy.
9. Do NOT bury them in a peat bog.
10. Wrap in bandages and take to the orphanage, because every kid needs a mummy.
11. If you had enough of them, you could form a more effective Congress.
12. Donate them to the local art class so they can do life drawing and still life at the same time.
13. Leave them in the sun until they go off with a bang and scare the kids.
Rob did not use any of these methods. Wanna know what he DID do?
Buy the book! "The Marian Kind" Available June 21 at Freya's Bower as part of their Summer Lovin' collection. Yes, this is a shameless plug! :-)
Monday, June 11, 2007
Free Contest
Wanna win a great book? My publisher, Freya's Bower, gives away a book every month to some lucky reader. This month it is Dayna Hart's sweet bite, "You Again." What are you waiting for? Go enter. :-)
http://www.freyasbower.com/content/view/26/91/
http://www.freyasbower.com/content/view/26/91/
Saturday, June 09, 2007
The Marian Kind- Want an Excerpt?
Squeee! I'm busy promoting "The Marian Kind" which releases this month at Freya's Bower as part of their Summer Lovin' Collection. I've included an excerpt for those of you not familiar with my writing, and for those who are. ;-)
As the cover suggests, "The Marian Kind" is about hackers, but mostly it's about a girl and the modern-day Robin Hood she loves. With Summer heating up, Marian thinks it’s the perfect time to push her five-year relationship up a notch. But the body she gets close and personal with isn’t her lover’s. Or alive. Boyfriend Rob has some explaining to do, and a diamond ring full of promises to make if he wants to keep his girl.
Enjoy!
“Do you want to break up?” I peeled sweat-slicked thighs from the vinyl seat of Rob’s lovingly pimped, Ford pickup and wriggled the rolled wedge of linen shorts out of my butt crack. Fear buzzed over my skin and my stomach lining camouflaged itself as Swiss cheese while I waited for his answer.
A sensuous rumble came from his throat, more like a bedroom noise than an argument. Was that a yes or a no? He stopped for a red light and swung his what-made-you-think-that look my way — kind of disgusted and surprised all in one.
Okay, maybe I was nutso risking our good thing by pushing to know if a better thing was just around the corner. But as the daughter of a funeral director I have a peculiar set of insecurities. I mean, funerals are hardly the talk for parties, right? They don’t call social pariahs dead boring for nothing. Maybe Rob fantasized about dating someone who didn’t paint dead people’s faces for a living.
Thick, stubby eyelashes blinked at me before Rob turned his attention back to the road. I licked a flavor-burst of strawberry gloss off my bottom lip. Any woman would want him. He is easily the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen — a rich collection of knotted-muscle browns, like trays of buns in a baker’s oven. Chocolate-drenched eyes, caramel hair sprinkled with cinnamon highlights, honey-kissed skin, and a mouth with all the quirk and appeal of marzipan figs. Maybe I should have said he’s a smorgasbord of brown because he’s definitely edible.
“Do you?” I pushed. I wanted to scream out my wound-down window into the cloying blanket of Florida’s orange and salt-drenched air, “Just say no!”
Instead, he patted my thigh with one broad-palmed hand that felt vaguely condescending in a hot and tingly way. “Ba--be. I love you,” he gently scolded.
He snatched his hand away to switch lanes, cutting off an orange minivan that blasted us with its tinny horn.
Nice evasion of the question. Gack! I didn’t want to be needy, but Rob has been my boyfriend for five years and my heartthrob for a lot longer. Any other guy would have slipped a diamond on my left hand by now, but we’re still stuck at the prep school stage of dating, only with canoodling privileges. It makes me antsy, which could be why I’d dropped that ultimatum this morning when he tried to welch out of our date.
Plus there’s the other woman, bane of my life, Jennifer Perrin — the curvy blonde who scattered when I caught her whispering in Rob’s ear last Christmas. A girl who lives right next door to him, sunbathes in her backyard wearing a skimpy string bikini, and is reputed to be the kindest chick in our neighborhood. Yeah, right! Well, I’m not kind at all, not when it comes to sneaky secrets and sharing the man I adore.
“So what was this something that came up this morning?” I asked, trying to chew the tremble out of my bottom lip.
Guilt flickered in the depths of his eyes and rats gnawed bigger holes in my Swiss cheese stomach. He hissed air through his teeth in what sounded like a cross between a whistle and a steam engine stopping.
“Rob, you’re freaking me out.”
“Making women nervous is a perk of being male,” he grumbled.
And no one could deny Rob was all male. Damn.
I yanked at the hem of my Barbie-pink tee and twisted the soft fabric into a knot. My throat dried up like Death Valley and I reached for the gym bag he kept on the floor of the pickup. Rob always carries water. You never know when a drive-by bench pressing will leave you thirsty.
I unzipped the tote and dipped in my hand. Something squishy wrapped around my fingers. I screeched and flicked the undulating gooey thing across the car. It barely missed Rob’s nose, then splatted on the driver’s side windshield where it stuck and quivered.
Rob swore and swerved several times before he got the car back under control. He said something about poop and fans that didn’t sound promising.
I screeched again as the alien gloop slid across the glass to hang in front of me. Then I narrowed my eyes. I focused on the little bag of silicon. My stand-on-chair-and-screech impulse gave way to fingernail-gouging rage.
“What’s this?” I asked, though, hey, someone with boobs my size knew very well about chicken cutlets. More than a handful is a waste, they say, so just call me frugal. I peeled the bra filler from the windscreen with a soft glub, and waved it under Rob’s nose. He groaned and did the flopped shoulders Women! thing.
“It’s not Jennifer’s,” he murmured before I even made the accusation. Guilty conscience or what?”
“Then whose is it? Since you don’t have any sisters, either you’ve been cheating or there’s a whole ‘nuther side of you I haven’t seen.” And given how many sides of him I’d seen that was extremely doubtful.
Possessive rage washed through me at the idea of some other girl nibbling icing off my cupcake. I threw the fake boob at the hot windscreen again. With a soft splat it stuck there, human breast slug under glass. In different circumstances, the toss and stick could be an amusing game.
“Whose?” I demanded.
His shoulders rolled again. “You don’t want to know.”
The hairs at my nape rose. “Correction – you don’t want to tell me. For all I know you’re having a little something something with a one-boobed woman and I’m the last to find out.” A shuddery sob made me stuff up the diatribe. Damn. I hate when my girly hormones sabotage me, and it wasn’t even that time of month.
He cocked a brow. “You’ve been watching Desperate Housewives again haven’t you, babe. Don’t you trust me?”
Nice try. “When I find the inside of some other girl’s underwear in your bag, no. And before you start about me getting neurotic, trust me on this, most girls find other women’s intimate apparel in their boyfriend’s bag a problem.” I pouted and crossed my arms.
He stroked a hand over his stubble-rough chin making a soft raspy noise. “It’s not what you think, but it is why I tried to cancel our date.”
I pouted some more like those luscious lipstick-duo commercials I’d always envied, and swung my gaze at him in a tell-me-or-else squint. His brown delights went all serious.
“You won’t like it,” he warned.
That made me lean closer. Now I had to know, and he had to know that I had to know. ‘Cause you can’t bring home a dozen Boston crème doughnuts and pretend you’re not gonna break your diet.
Buy the book! Save a starving artist! :-) Available from Freya's Bower mid/late June.
As the cover suggests, "The Marian Kind" is about hackers, but mostly it's about a girl and the modern-day Robin Hood she loves. With Summer heating up, Marian thinks it’s the perfect time to push her five-year relationship up a notch. But the body she gets close and personal with isn’t her lover’s. Or alive. Boyfriend Rob has some explaining to do, and a diamond ring full of promises to make if he wants to keep his girl.
Enjoy!
“Do you want to break up?” I peeled sweat-slicked thighs from the vinyl seat of Rob’s lovingly pimped, Ford pickup and wriggled the rolled wedge of linen shorts out of my butt crack. Fear buzzed over my skin and my stomach lining camouflaged itself as Swiss cheese while I waited for his answer.
A sensuous rumble came from his throat, more like a bedroom noise than an argument. Was that a yes or a no? He stopped for a red light and swung his what-made-you-think-that look my way — kind of disgusted and surprised all in one.
Okay, maybe I was nutso risking our good thing by pushing to know if a better thing was just around the corner. But as the daughter of a funeral director I have a peculiar set of insecurities. I mean, funerals are hardly the talk for parties, right? They don’t call social pariahs dead boring for nothing. Maybe Rob fantasized about dating someone who didn’t paint dead people’s faces for a living.
Thick, stubby eyelashes blinked at me before Rob turned his attention back to the road. I licked a flavor-burst of strawberry gloss off my bottom lip. Any woman would want him. He is easily the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen — a rich collection of knotted-muscle browns, like trays of buns in a baker’s oven. Chocolate-drenched eyes, caramel hair sprinkled with cinnamon highlights, honey-kissed skin, and a mouth with all the quirk and appeal of marzipan figs. Maybe I should have said he’s a smorgasbord of brown because he’s definitely edible.
“Do you?” I pushed. I wanted to scream out my wound-down window into the cloying blanket of Florida’s orange and salt-drenched air, “Just say no!”
Instead, he patted my thigh with one broad-palmed hand that felt vaguely condescending in a hot and tingly way. “Ba--be. I love you,” he gently scolded.
He snatched his hand away to switch lanes, cutting off an orange minivan that blasted us with its tinny horn.
Nice evasion of the question. Gack! I didn’t want to be needy, but Rob has been my boyfriend for five years and my heartthrob for a lot longer. Any other guy would have slipped a diamond on my left hand by now, but we’re still stuck at the prep school stage of dating, only with canoodling privileges. It makes me antsy, which could be why I’d dropped that ultimatum this morning when he tried to welch out of our date.
Plus there’s the other woman, bane of my life, Jennifer Perrin — the curvy blonde who scattered when I caught her whispering in Rob’s ear last Christmas. A girl who lives right next door to him, sunbathes in her backyard wearing a skimpy string bikini, and is reputed to be the kindest chick in our neighborhood. Yeah, right! Well, I’m not kind at all, not when it comes to sneaky secrets and sharing the man I adore.
“So what was this something that came up this morning?” I asked, trying to chew the tremble out of my bottom lip.
Guilt flickered in the depths of his eyes and rats gnawed bigger holes in my Swiss cheese stomach. He hissed air through his teeth in what sounded like a cross between a whistle and a steam engine stopping.
“Rob, you’re freaking me out.”
“Making women nervous is a perk of being male,” he grumbled.
And no one could deny Rob was all male. Damn.
I yanked at the hem of my Barbie-pink tee and twisted the soft fabric into a knot. My throat dried up like Death Valley and I reached for the gym bag he kept on the floor of the pickup. Rob always carries water. You never know when a drive-by bench pressing will leave you thirsty.
I unzipped the tote and dipped in my hand. Something squishy wrapped around my fingers. I screeched and flicked the undulating gooey thing across the car. It barely missed Rob’s nose, then splatted on the driver’s side windshield where it stuck and quivered.
Rob swore and swerved several times before he got the car back under control. He said something about poop and fans that didn’t sound promising.
I screeched again as the alien gloop slid across the glass to hang in front of me. Then I narrowed my eyes. I focused on the little bag of silicon. My stand-on-chair-and-screech impulse gave way to fingernail-gouging rage.
“What’s this?” I asked, though, hey, someone with boobs my size knew very well about chicken cutlets. More than a handful is a waste, they say, so just call me frugal. I peeled the bra filler from the windscreen with a soft glub, and waved it under Rob’s nose. He groaned and did the flopped shoulders Women! thing.
“It’s not Jennifer’s,” he murmured before I even made the accusation. Guilty conscience or what?”
“Then whose is it? Since you don’t have any sisters, either you’ve been cheating or there’s a whole ‘nuther side of you I haven’t seen.” And given how many sides of him I’d seen that was extremely doubtful.
Possessive rage washed through me at the idea of some other girl nibbling icing off my cupcake. I threw the fake boob at the hot windscreen again. With a soft splat it stuck there, human breast slug under glass. In different circumstances, the toss and stick could be an amusing game.
“Whose?” I demanded.
His shoulders rolled again. “You don’t want to know.”
The hairs at my nape rose. “Correction – you don’t want to tell me. For all I know you’re having a little something something with a one-boobed woman and I’m the last to find out.” A shuddery sob made me stuff up the diatribe. Damn. I hate when my girly hormones sabotage me, and it wasn’t even that time of month.
He cocked a brow. “You’ve been watching Desperate Housewives again haven’t you, babe. Don’t you trust me?”
Nice try. “When I find the inside of some other girl’s underwear in your bag, no. And before you start about me getting neurotic, trust me on this, most girls find other women’s intimate apparel in their boyfriend’s bag a problem.” I pouted and crossed my arms.
He stroked a hand over his stubble-rough chin making a soft raspy noise. “It’s not what you think, but it is why I tried to cancel our date.”
I pouted some more like those luscious lipstick-duo commercials I’d always envied, and swung my gaze at him in a tell-me-or-else squint. His brown delights went all serious.
“You won’t like it,” he warned.
That made me lean closer. Now I had to know, and he had to know that I had to know. ‘Cause you can’t bring home a dozen Boston crème doughnuts and pretend you’re not gonna break your diet.
Buy the book! Save a starving artist! :-) Available from Freya's Bower mid/late June.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Naughty Warning -- PG
1. A man can never be too rich
2. Men only get harder with the heat.
3.You don't need to use your teeth on the wrapper.
4. In fact, a man can throw his own wrapper in the bin.
5. You CAN have your man and eat him too.
6. Their nuts don't get stuck between your teeth.
7. Or make you gain weight. If they do, it disappears, mostly, after nine months.
8. Men don't leave you with more cavities.
9. At least I hope not!
10. Though you can't pick up a box full for a few dollars at the local supermarket, you CAN use the same one over and over, so they work out pretty economical.
11. Most men won't poison your dog.
12. And your friends don't normally ask you for their share.
13. However, just like chocolate, most of the really good ones are European.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Yay!
Got my cover for "The Marian Kind" from Freya's Bower. It comes out mid/late this month with their Summer Lovin' Collection. See left for cover and blurb. And gee, they even made it pink to match my color scheme. :-)
Sunday, June 03, 2007
How Sweet!
In this day of publishing when everyone screams, "Hotter, hotter, hotter!" it is wonderful to find groups, like Sweeter Notions, who still value non-erotic stories. I joined them this week -- a place where good romance comes from the heart and quality writing, not just sex.
They even included my two June releases, "The Marian Kind," novella in the Summer Lovin' anthology from Freya's Bower, and "Something Blue," novella in Brides and Bouquets 2007 from By Grace Publishing, in their newsletter. Now that is sweet.
http://www.sweeterromanticnotions.blogspot.com/
They even included my two June releases, "The Marian Kind," novella in the Summer Lovin' anthology from Freya's Bower, and "Something Blue," novella in Brides and Bouquets 2007 from By Grace Publishing, in their newsletter. Now that is sweet.
http://www.sweeterromanticnotions.blogspot.com/
Thursday, May 31, 2007
By The Way...
Just thought I'd mention that I'm on the Unique Enterprises Author Loop with a stack of other writers at
http://ue_authors.bravejournal.com/entry/21891
for anyone interested in developing their characters.
http://ue_authors.bravejournal.com/entry/21891
for anyone interested in developing their characters.
Thursday Thirteen
1. Naturally I'd love to have my CPs over. Firstly, Kristen for her legendary shmoozing abilities, providing she took out personal insurance for her bling -- I don't think my house insurance would cover it.
2. Gina, coz she'd bring baby Niley who is just as cute as can be. As long as Gina doesn't bring a red pen to correct the commas on my menu card.
3. Selah, if she promises to keep the twins out of her soup.
4. Maggie, coz she's just completely hugable, plus I could ask her to use her legendary computer skills to fight the gremlins in my laptop.
5.Gemma, if she's not too busy with her new TV fame.
6. and other celebs, like Mary-Kate Olsen, because she'd be really cheap to feed.
7. and Ghandi. Ditto. Especially now.
8. and former Secretary General of the U.N.--Kofi Anan--cake? Sounds like someone to have around during last course.
9. But not Martin Luther and his Diet of Worms
10. or Lucretia Borgia, who might adjust my condiments
11. not Mama Cass Elliot if I'm serving ham
12. or Mike Tyson -- he takes the concept of putting the bite on people too literally
13. or Hannibal Lector -- ditto
How about you? Feel free to tell me why I should include you on this list. :-)
Monday, May 28, 2007
Thank you for making me a part of this...
Ever feel like the meat in the sandwich? I moderate for a great writer's board and mostly things go pretty smoothly. Except when they don't. Why is it some people take your moderator job as a personal insult, like you are out to get them? Yeah, I volunteered my time to do this for you so you could play, safe, fun, and free because I'm a nasty person. Um, hello?
To be fair, they didn't blame me, they blamed the girl who volunteers her time to help me, who never grumbles, is always there, never asks for praise or even thank you girl. And that makes me boil. As far as I can see, the kid deserves a medal, a bouquet of flowers, or at least a little gratitude.
Sigh. People. When will they learn that we're not out to get them, we're trying to help them. Anything else is something they're projecting from within themselves.
Sauce, anyone?
To be fair, they didn't blame me, they blamed the girl who volunteers her time to help me, who never grumbles, is always there, never asks for praise or even thank you girl. And that makes me boil. As far as I can see, the kid deserves a medal, a bouquet of flowers, or at least a little gratitude.
Sigh. People. When will they learn that we're not out to get them, we're trying to help them. Anything else is something they're projecting from within themselves.
Sauce, anyone?
Sunday, May 27, 2007
In a Spin...
Looking for a sweet read?
Spinning Wildly
by Elle Fredrix
Publisher: The Wild Rose Press
Purchase Here
Although Megan Dempsey hates amusement parks, she hates disappointing her 12-year old son even more. So when his plans with a friend fall through, he ropes her into going along. Things go downhill from there. First, an incident with a mustard-oozing hotdog paints her breast golden. Then running into-literally-Mitchell Carter, a man who has stirred her emotions for more than year, mortifies her even more. When their paths repeatedly cross, she recognizes interest in Mitch's gaze. Megan's day is about to get a whole lot better!
Spinning Wildly
by Elle Fredrix
Publisher: The Wild Rose Press
Purchase Here
Although Megan Dempsey hates amusement parks, she hates disappointing her 12-year old son even more. So when his plans with a friend fall through, he ropes her into going along. Things go downhill from there. First, an incident with a mustard-oozing hotdog paints her breast golden. Then running into-literally-Mitchell Carter, a man who has stirred her emotions for more than year, mortifies her even more. When their paths repeatedly cross, she recognizes interest in Mitch's gaze. Megan's day is about to get a whole lot better!
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Thursday Thirteen
1. Pigs are helpful for promo. I share my name with that famous Aussie pig who coined the phrase," I want my Mom!" What most of you probably don't realize is that before edits trimmed Babe's speech, it was,"I want my Mom to read Babe King Romances!"
2. Pigs are Self-Sacrificing. Take that well-known American, Porky Pig-- "Your favorite Ham!" Despite working with an affliction (that incurable stutter,) Porky offers himself up as a smorgasboard of both ham and pork. What more can you ask?
3. Pigs are humble. Charlotte got it right when she wrote that in her web. Can you imagine humans taking on some of the roles pigs do?
4. Pigs are NOT greedy! You've probably heard, "don't throw pearls before swine." That's because pigs will work for peanuts, soygrits, even swill, and never hold out for jewels.
5. Plus, being pink, they need no further adornment.
6.Pigs are not racist. They often work best with other animals. For eg in combination chop suey.
7. Pigs are not fakes. Their curl is completely natural.
8. Pigs are sensible. They take pride in their weight. There is no anorexia nervosa in the porcine world.
9. Pigs are considerate. Initially they were included in the musical scale.
but agreed to be taken out so the other animals wouldn't feel intimidated.
10. Pigs keep their litter close so it doesn't become an ecological nightmare.
11. Pigs are patient. A sow will put up with a boar all her life with no more than a few grunts of complaint.
12. Pigs have sty-le.
13. Yet despite all these admirable attributes, they never hog the limelight. Pigs are noble. What's not to love?
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Friday, May 18, 2007
People Can Be Ruff
Just a reminder that Bloodlines and Heartstrings, leading story in the Cup of Comfort for Dog Lovers comes out in August. :-)
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Thursday Thirteen
Mark Twain once wrote: "Southerners talk music!" Aint that the truth! I am loving the way my soutern characters speak in "Theft of the Golden Hooha" (Yeah, I ditched the pussy name.) My only regret is that the soutern speak is from secondary characters so I don't get to do a lot of it. But here, for your listening pleasure, are a few gems I wish I could fit in and can't.
Warning: Those with bladder problems should not proceed beyond this point!
1. Quoting Peter Rabbit McGarrh, circa 1978: "And if that ain't true, grits ain't groceries, eggs ain't poultry, and Mona Lisa was a man."
2. Bonnie Horton: "about as useful as gooseshit on a pumphandle"
3. Barrie Blake: "happened faster than a knife fight in a phone booth."
4. Susan of Baton Rouge : "It's drier than happy hour at the Betty Ford clinic."
5. Sherry A.: "If a bullfrog had wings, he wouldn't bump his ass when he jumped."
6. Derek N. : "I'll hit you in the Adam's apple so hard you'll be spitting cider for a week."
7. Derek N. : "It stank so bad it'd knock a buzzard off a gut wagon."
8. "What yer tellin me don't amount to a 'blivit' . . ." (a blivit is 10 pounds of manure in a 5 pound bag --didn't you always wanna know that!)
9. Paula T. : 'Ain't nobody gonna mess on me and call it apple butter!'
10. Paula T."He's so ugly, he didn't get hit with the ugly stick, he got whopped with the whole forest!"
11. Don McL : "Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor."
12. Don McL : "My cow died last night so I don't need your bull."
13. Mark : "A face like a bulldog licking catpiss off a stinging nettle."
How I wish I could put in more. I LOVE the South. Someday I hope I too can be Gone With The Windbags. :-)
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Shoe!
Get behind me, Satan! I tell ya, I've never really been into the shoe thing my CPs have going on, but I'm starting to wonder if that is just lack of time, funds and walking ability. (I haven't been able to walk in heels since I shattered my leg 2 years ago.)
I'm doing some research on designer footwear for my characters --or it started out that way -- and I find myself slavering over scraps of leather.
Like this
Or this
And though I could never wear them, I love these!
And these!
What is happening to me? Have I crossed over?
I think I've caught the addiction!
I'm doing some research on designer footwear for my characters --or it started out that way -- and I find myself slavering over scraps of leather.
Like this
Or this
And though I could never wear them, I love these!
And these!
What is happening to me? Have I crossed over?
I think I've caught the addiction!
Monday, May 14, 2007
Ready ... Set ... Stop!
My current MS is set in NYC, with a side trip to Alabama, and while I love researching the places/people/accents etc, I'm finding the writing very hard going for two reasons. These are actual places my readers know well, so if I get things wrong, they'll throw my book at the wall. Actually, it won't get that far, because the canny eds/agents won't let it eke through into print!
So I can't step in and let my imagination take over creating the place. But equally, there is much that maps and research don't provide. I'm constantly nagging on the American girls over at RD for all sorts of things -- smells, where the garbage/trash gets put etc. So many details I just take for granted when setting work in Australia or an imaginary place.
I wonder if I am up for this? So far, I don't want to give up. It's just an aggrevation, but the story is still hauling me through those unknown places at an exciting speed. The characters still tugging on my heart to help them through. I guess I'm not the first to battle this problem.
So I can't step in and let my imagination take over creating the place. But equally, there is much that maps and research don't provide. I'm constantly nagging on the American girls over at RD for all sorts of things -- smells, where the garbage/trash gets put etc. So many details I just take for granted when setting work in Australia or an imaginary place.
I wonder if I am up for this? So far, I don't want to give up. It's just an aggrevation, but the story is still hauling me through those unknown places at an exciting speed. The characters still tugging on my heart to help them through. I guess I'm not the first to battle this problem.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
One of the Things I Love About Americans
...is their accent! I'm currently trying to get the dialogue for my latest MS (NY & Alabama) right. Hooee, it's a challenge. Anyway, in my roving, I came across this little bit of fun and couldn't resist seeing what part of America sounds most like country Australia.
| What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Northeast Judging by how you talk you are probably from north Jersey, New York City, Connecticut or Rhode Island. Chances are, if you are from New York City (and not those other places) people would probably be able to tell if they actually heard you speak. | |
| The South | |
| The Midland | |
| Philadelphia | |
| The Inland North | |
| The West | |
| Boston | |
| North Central | |
| What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz | |
Thursday Thirteen
|
1. It's written in the same "blurt" first-person style as The Marian Kind, only this tale is longer and more complicated. So if you love that novella, you should love this one, too. 2. I'm only 53 pages in so I'm still in the honeymoon phase, you know, that bit before you realize that your hero can't possibly do what you've written unless he has 3 hands and has conquered gravity. 3. I'm still playing with the title. I was gonna call it "Deck-a-Pussy", since it is loosely drawn from James Bond's "Octopussy" and is set at Christmas time and revolves around the theft of ... you guessed it, a pussy! But I dunno. Maybe I should call it "Second Chance at the Pussy", or Pussy on the Road Home". hint: those who don't get this, read my last blog post. 4. I get to make sexist remarks and attack both women's lib and the men's movement. That way I can offend everyone. 5. I get to research both NY and Alabama, alternating between haute couture and oat cuisine. And what's not to like about "coon" dogs and corn pones? Love it! 6. It's got pigs in it. 'Nuff said. 7. My heroine wears French knickers long after she should have thrown them out, tries to resist Ben and Jerry and doughnuts, and doesn't. Yep, I love her. 8. My hero is a take charge, controlled, make-it-happen guy. He floats my boat, even when I find myself up the creek without a paddle. 9. Did I mention he's rich? 10. And I have several dope heads. Not the hero, though. He's nobody's dope. 11. It's not every day (or book) you get a fork and spoon fight. 12. There's a chick called Iggy. I did consider Eggy, but thought I'd be understated and subtle since, you know, I'm like that. ;-) 13. My crisis happens at a funeral. I have written about funny weddings before, Brides Maid in Heaven, but making a funeral humorous is a real challenge. Rolling up sleeves, sucking into my coffee. Did I mention I love my new MS? Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!) |
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