Fanny ... er Fan Lit

For some reason not known to myself I have entered the Avon Fanlit competition and written my first chapter of a Regency. Talk about stepping outside my comfort zone. Heck, I think I invented a whole 'nuther universe outside my comfort zone. But it's been an interesting experience.

For a laugh I thought I'd include all the comments on my work, both good and bad. I particularly like the one about my writing being stilted since it sounds like it's been twice translated from another language. Gotta love the irony in that.

So without further ado, the comments... enjoy.

I liked the title! Loved your descriptions. You've created interesting characters.

Excellent turn of phrase--lovely Regency voice. Plot was very intriguing and story flowed beautifully. I'm dying to know what happens next! Loved, "tongues wagged with envy-spiked malice." Well done!

This was beautifully executed and the best entry I've read so far. An enjoyable chapter, and the dialogue between them was brilliant.

This is well done with innuendo and double entendre on many levels. I love that both the hero and heroine (I assume this is the case) are intelligent and at odds. This could be a tour de force-- a la Shakespeare's The Tempest.


Wonderful voice! Entertaining chapter...and "spotted dick". LOL


Great sotry! Loved it!


Nicely done!


More more more, I want more. Good luck.


I found it a bit stilted in the writing.


I'm intrigued. Spotted dick........I laughed at that. Good work. A few easy punctuation errors to fix. Nice work.


You've got a way with words, but there's too much psychological musings by him- and I've always found the idea that a hero can just 'tell' if somebody's a virgin or not to be improbable.


I got confused: Damien; Lord Cromwell: and whether or not he's an Englishman or working for the Prince of Monaco or the Prince of Wales.


Intriguing premise. Just the right amount of information about the main characters' motivations for the first chapter. Well-written but sometimes comparison slow pace too much.


Quite a few errors and pacing was a little too slow.


Great stuff - I liked your characters and the setting was great. I'm fascinated and would definitely read on.


Whippet is a great word


Loved the writing and the dialogue. Very intriguing.


Can't wait to read more.

I don't know about comparing someone to a dog...Some modern phrasing that need reworking! But not a bad story overall!


Very nice writing and some great innuendo. However, I don't buy Damien's suspicion, and some anachronisms threw me out of the story.


LOVE THIS ONE


Interesting start. Witty, and funny. I enjoyed it.


Funny and interesting. I enjoyed it!


Bravo! Best of the five I've read so far.


good!


A slightly different take on the story that i found interesting. good voice. some of the areas of the story kinda confused me. I wish i could explain better sorry


Intriguing...I like the twist with the pendant.