Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Happy Halloween to all my American friends. There are always pumpkins and witches everywhere at this time of year, but at $25 a pumpkin, I think my kids will have to be happy carving soap.
Halloween always amuses me. Isn't it funny that all the decorations are for the losing side of this war? I mean, the whole point of the holiday is for all the evil to flee because God's saints are coming the next day.
Anyway, I couldn't let the occasion pass without a few sick jokes, though I'm not sure whether these gems pass as a trick or a treat. Enjoy....
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately...
What is a vampire's favorite sport?
Did you hear the cannibal was expelled from school?
He buttered up his teacher.
Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're too wrapped up in themselves...
How do you fix a jack-o-lantern?
With a pumpkin patch.
What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich...
Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
He heard it had great circulation...
What do baby ghosts wear on their feet?
What do you call a ghost in a torn sheet?
A holy terror.
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its radius?
'til next time, bless you all, and c'on the saints!