I return you to the wisdom of the ages...

...lest I get too philosophical. Yup. This entry is deep as a carpark puddle and snatched from the jaws of ...well, laughter, over at SRN.

Wisdom of the Young

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

Wisdom of the Old

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts..
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.
6) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
7) Forget the health food. Elderly need all the preservatives they can get.
8) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down
there.
9) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
chair that you
once got from a roller coaster.
10) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to
ask you the questions.